There was a pause from her end that had my gut clenching in that way it always did when I felt like she was putting up a well.
“I wouldn’t mind that,” she finally said.
“By the way, I set them all straight about Evie. I even told them I was interested in someone.”
“Oh?” Her voice pitched up slightly, making me wonder if she was nervous about my mother knowing about her. Considering she knew my mother was a snob, I supposed I couldn’t blame her. “What did they say to that?”
“Bri guessed it was you, but I told her it wasn’t so it wouldn’t get back to your job.”
“Thank you.”
“My mother wanted to know who you were too, but I didn’t say anything. You know, if I were forty, I could see all their concern about me getting married, but I’m not even thirty.”
She
sighed. “I think it’s in parents DNA to want their kids married.”
“So your parents do it to you?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I’m not sure I’ll ever get married, which will make my mother batshit crazy.” There was perverse joy in that idea.
“Really. You don’t see yourself ever getting married?”
I couldn’t read her tone. Was it a good thing or a bad thing that I wasn’t sure I wanted to tie myself down?
“I don’t know. What I’m taught about marriage doesn’t make it appealing. I mean, my mom wants me to marry a woman simply because her family is old money. Love isn’t a factor.”
“So you’d marry for love?”
“Maybe. I don’t really see the purpose of it. I mean, marriage started as a business deal right? Father’s married off their daughters for money and title.”
“What about children?”
“I’m pretty sure that’s not in the cards for me.”
Again, there was a pause on the line. “You don’t like kids?”
“I like kids, I just don’t see myself having them. I certainly don’t want to have them simply to carry on the Roarke family name and business. Besides, I’m not sure I’m dad material.”
“Why not?”
“I’m too selfish, I suppose. Raising kids, done right, takes time.”
“Maybe your feelings would change if you had one.”
Was she talking me into having kids? That didn’t make sense because I could hardly talk her into dating me. Clearly she wasn’t eyeing me as long-term material.
“Maybe, but what if I had them and my feelings didn’t change? It wouldn’t be fair to some kid to have a dad like that.”
I suppose it was unusual to not want marriage or kids. Perhaps she’d think there was something wrong with me that I was concerned I wouldn’t love them the way I should. It was yet another reason that perhaps I should move on from Serena.
15
Serena
What was Devin wanting with me if he was never going to marry or have kids? Was it just a continuation from before? A fling with the girl from the wrong side of the socioeconomic tracks?