“Well of course. Maybe you can even spend some time in the cockpit with the pilot since you want to learn to fly.”
“Can I Mommy, can I? Please say, yes.”
I laughed. “If it can be arranged.”
Andrew turned back to Devin and climbed into his lap. At first Devin’s expression was surprised, but quickly he helped Andrew adjust to sit comfortably in his lap.
“Where do you go in your plane?” Andrew asked.
“Usually Europe. London. Paris—“
“They have a Disneyland there. Right Mommy?”
“I think so, baby. But there are some closer to us,” I said. I didn’t want Devin thinking he had to take Andrew to Europe.
“Did you go to Disneyland?” Andrew looked up intently at Devin.
“Never been. I’ve been to the top of the Eiffel Tower though.”
“What’s that?”
The two of them chatted about everything and nothing, and my guilt grew even as my heart filled with such love for the both of them.
“Will you push me on the swing?” Andrew asked Devin.
“Honey, Devin probably has other things he needs to do.”
“No, I don’t.” Devin’s eyes narrowed suggesting he didn’t like that I was trying to give him an out. “I’ll push you on the swing.”
“’Kay. Come on.” Andrew hopped down and took Devin’s hand, leading him to the swings. I watched them, wishing things could have been different. Wishing Devin had spent the last years knowing about Andrew and being a father to him.
Devin spent the day with us at the park, and then walked with us back to the apartment.
“Some limits can be overcome,” Devin said to me as Andrew trotted ahead of us, his arms out like an airplane.
“Some,” I admitted.
“About your job. I’ll just work with other planners in your firm and if they have a problem, I’ll find a new firm.” He took my hand. He clearly had been thinking things through which only made my deception worse. If he knew our real limits, would he still be trying so hard?
“And I’ll be fired for losing their biggest client,” I said, playing devil’s advocate.
“Then you’ll start your own firm and I’ll hire you.”
I smirked. “You have an answer for everything.”
“When I want something, I find an answer.”
My heart was both rejoicing and breaking. I wanted what he was saying he wanted. But I was going to blow it to bits.
“I’m tired.” Andrew wrapped his arms around my legs.
“We’re almost there,” I said.
“I’ll carry you.” Devin barely had the words out before Andrew stood before him with his arms up. Devin picked him up, settling him on his hip.
“I have a book of airplanes. Want to see it?” Andrew asked, looking Devin in the face. I wondered if Devin would see the resemblance. How long would it take him to figure out Andrew was his?
“Yes, I would.”