His body was heaving over mine, and I wished I could hold them there forever.
“Hmm?” He rolled to his side, but pulled me close.
“I think I love you too…actually…I’m pretty sure of it.”
He kissed my neck. “Me too.”
We held each other in the dark of my apartment.
“I need to tell you something.”
He lifted his head to look at me.
“When I do, please remember that I love you. No limitations.”
His eyes showed concern, and I couldn’t blame him. My words were ominous. “No limitations.”
“Andrew—” My words were cut off by the sound of the phone ringing.
“Ah hell. That’s my mom. Ignore it.”
I swallowed hard as the image his mother sending me off, warning me to never tell Devin about my baby flashed in my head.
“It’s late. Maybe it’s important,” I said.
“Shit, you’re right. She never calls me this late.” He swung his legs out of bed and reached down for his pants, pulling out his phone. “It’s not a good time, Mom—” He stopped short. “What? When?” He stood, and picked up his underwear and shirt. “Is it bad?”
A worried feeling came over me. Something was wrong.
“I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” He hung up and looked at me as he tugged his pants on. “I’m sorry. My dad fell and is in the hospital. I need to go.”
“Yes, of course. I understand.”
“We can have this talk later, right?”
“Yes. Absolutely. Go check on your dad.”
He tugged his shirt on and then leaned over the bed. “We’ll be all right.” It came out more like a question. Like he was concerned about what I had to tell him.
I nodded, even though I wasn’t sure we’d be all right. He gave me a quick kiss and then rushed out the door. I flopped back on the bed. I hated myself for being a coward and not telling him sooner. And now I had to find a new time, a new way to tell him. This secret hung like a lead weight on me now and I was afraid I’d either never be free of it, or it would crush me.
I wasn’t able to sleep that night. I stopped in to see Andrew quickly the next morning, but not long enough to have a discussion with my parents about what had happened, or in this case, what hadn’t happened.
On the train to work, I texted Devin, asking him how his father was. I didn’t hear anything back, and I worried it wasn’t good. I texted him again at work, letting him know that if there was something he needed, to let me know.
It wasn’t until I arrived back at my apartment building that I got a text back from Devin.
He’s going to be fine, but have to make changes. Plate is full, baby, I’m sorry.
Part of me wondered if he didn’t need my help because he didn’t want his mother to know he was seeing someone like me. Not that he was ashamed of me, but because he knew his mother wouldn’t approve. He had a lot going on with his father, his taking over the business, and having met his mother on two occasions, I suspected she was a handful now too.
It’s fine. Let me know if I can help with something.
I didn’t hear anything further.
“So, how’d it go?” my mother asked when I picked up Andrew. We steeled away in the kitchen where we could talk while my father played Go Fish with Andrew.
“I didn’t have a chance to tell him. He got a call that his dad had fallen.”