“He’s a great kid, Serena.”
I smiled. “He really is.”
“From now on, he’ll be staying with me at my home. Overall everything went well. Bri thinks the world of him and even my father got a kick out of him.”
“Your mom?”
He shook his head and took a sip of the wine. “I won’t let her hurt him, Serena. I promise.”
I nodded, but wasn’t convinced she wouldn’t somehow get her venom on my son.
“I had it out with her this morning. My mother has always been focused on image and breeding and all that bullshit, as you know. But I’ll be honest, I was shocked to learn she’d tried to pay you off.”
“So, she admitted it?” I asked.
He laughed derisively. “Her response was ‘Of course, I did,’ like that was a normal thing to do. I’m sorry for that Serena. That doesn’t mean I’m over what you did, but I have a better sense of why you made some of the decisions you did.”
“Thank you.”
“But I’m his father. You can’t make decisions for him regarding my mother without me. Not anymore.”
“Yes, of course.”
He sipped his wine and stared off as if thoughts of his mother were rambling around in his brain.
“Devin?”
“Hmm?” He looked at me but I wasn’t sure he was seeing me.
“I really am sorry.” I pressed my hand over my heart. “I know the words aren’t enough, but I wish I’d done it differently.”
He pursed his lips. “Do you wish you’d avoided me? Turned down the job of doing the anniversary party?”
“I can’t deny that at first I wanted to keep you away, but now, if I could do it over, I’d have told you at the beach that first time.”
“You had many opportunities.”
I looked down into my wine. “I was trying to find a way where I could tell you and keep you too. But there was no way. I’d accepted that. I was going to tell you the night after the flight. And yes, when you said you wanted to make love, I chose that because I was sure it would be the last time. That was selfish of me.”
“So, all that time you were pushing me away, it was because of Andrew?”
I hated to admit it out loud because it sounded so awful. “I didn’t want to. I wanted you, but I was afraid of losing you. It was wrong. Not just to you but to Andrew too.” Shame and guilt overwhelmed me, and tears flowed. “I thought I was a better person.”
“I thought so too.” He set his wine down and stood. “Thank you for the wine. I’ll be in touch about seeing Andrew again.”
I sniffed and rose to walk him out. “You know where to find us.”
As he walked out the door, he stopped. “Oh, thank your mom for the recipe. I’m thinking of suggesting it for the menu on St. Patrick's. Would she be okay with that?”
I smiled. “She’d love that. But you have to use mutton. It’s not the same without it.”
He gave me a small smile. “I’ll let the chef know that.”
As I settled into bed last night, I felt good about Devin and I co-parenting Andrew together. He was hurt by my actions and not likely to forgive me, but he was able to push his personal anger at me aside for Andrew. Since Andrew was the most important part of this equation, I had to be happy with that.
28
Devin