I walked back out to the bedroom and got into bed. Niall immediately wrapped me in his arms and pulled me close. I breathed him in. Sweat, a bit of musk, and the scent of his cologne. In the future, that smell would send me right over the edge. There was part of me that was never going to be the same after this and I was okay with that. I’d deal with that when the time came.
“Are you asleep?” he asked.
“Yes. Leave me alone,” I said. He chuckled and cuddled me closer. There were other rooms in this suite, I didn’t have to do this to myself, but I knew that I was going to. He was the one. It was so loud in my head that I couldn’t ignore it. He was it. I would never again be in love the way I was now. I had to be okay with that. Tonight, I would enjoy this. Tomorrow, when I got back home, the circumstances alone would make me snap out of it. For now, I was enjoying this. He knew the truth. It was all on the table. Well, almost all on the table.
No, I pushed it back far enough for me to ignore it and allowed myself to drift off to sleep. I was alone when I woke up. I sighed, closing my eyes again. This bed was amazing, I didn’t want to get up. My bed back home wasn’t the most comfortable. The mattress needed changing and unlike the lush décor in this suite, my room looked like hell. All the pictures and furniture were gone save for the bed. It wasn’t a particularly nice one; old fashioned in a garish and tacky way rather than something vintage and beautiful. I wasn’t looking forward to it, but I shouldn’t have gotten so used to this that I didn’t want to leave. I recalled the promise I made to myself the night before. This part of my life had officially come to an end. It hurt my chest to think about. I opened my eyes.
“Eddy?” Niall walked into the room. “Awake?”
“No,” I grumbled. I didn’t want the day to start because that meant I would have to go home.
“I got us breakfast, babe, wake up.”
Breakfast? I got up, letting my eyes adjust to the light. The final supper, only in the morning, and nobody had betrayed me except myself. The last delicious gourmet meal that I didn’t have to cook before I went home again. I popped into the bathroom and took a quick shower, walking out to the dining area in a robe. Niall was waiting for me.
“You didn’t start?” I asked.
“I’ve had coffee,” he said. I sat and he started heaping food onto my plate. I thanked him because it all looked amazing. Between the fresh fruit, pastries, sausages and warm toast, I was spoilt for choice. I t
hanked him as he filled my cup with coffee.
“I should catch an early train today to head back home,” I said.
“Train? Don’t bother. Let me drive you.”
“Really?” I asked. I thought he would just feed me and let me go now that he knew the truth. I was broke and near-destitute, what did he want from me anymore? I wasn’t the woman that he thought I was. Yesterday he said all the right things when I was upset but now, in the cold light of day, who was to say that he wasn’t just trying to pacify me enough to go to be with him again one more time?
I didn’t want to think that he was that kind of man, but he was another kind. He was rich. He was connected and he knew people who knew about what had happened between me and Russell. Being seen together would bring his stock value down, so to speak. I just wasn’t a suitable match for him anymore.
Anymore?
When was I ever a potentially suitable match for someone like him?
Already, I was forgetting my resolve from last night.
“I don’t mind,” he said.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not? The train might be faster, but I don’t mind taking you. When’s the next time I’m going to see you?”
“I don’t think that's a good idea,” I said again.
“Why not?”
“Why? Why do you still want to deal with me? Why are you still talking to me? You know everything now. I’m not one of you. I’m a penniless, single mother who’s one step away from destitution. Is that who you want to be associated with?”
He sighed and looked at me like I was failing to understand something very simple. “I don’t care about what’s going on in your life right now. I mean, I do care. I want to help you but I don’t think being in financial straits is anything to be ashamed of. Is that what you think of me? I don’t care how much money you have or don’t have. I don’t care that you have a child with another man.”
“The people you associate with would care.”
“Who on earth do I associate with?”
“People with as many titles and as much money as you have.”
He shook his head vigorously. “Fuck every last one of them. Do you think this is about the money? I couldn’t care less about money.”
“What about the watch?”