Those words sent an inferno through me. I growled. “I’m going to hell for sure.” I pushed the head of my dick inside her and nearly wept with the sweet tight heat that enveloped it. She moaned and her pussy massaged my tip. At least I knew she was with me on this.
“Yes … so good … more,” she said on a sigh.
I withdrew and then pushed forward, this time sliding a little further until I hit a barrier. She’d already been snug, but I knew when I broke through, it would be so fucking sweet and tight.
“You’re so fucking tight.” I squeezed my eyes shut to keep from losing control and simply fucking her hard and fast. I took in a couple of deep breaths to help me stay in control and be attentive to her. This would probably hurt her. I looked down on her. She nodded, letting me know she was ready. Jesus, she was so beautiful and sweet. She deserved a man who would give her the world. That man wasn’t me.
I looked away and withdrew. “I’m sorry … I can’t.”
7
Tessa
What? No. I reached for him where he was still kneeling between my legs. “I’m sorry … what am I doing wrong?”
He groaned in what sounded like frustration and self-loathing. “Nothing, honey. Fuck.” He scraped his hands over his face and then looked at me, his eyes soft and apologetic. “I’m sorry. I can’t take this from you. I want to. I’m dying with wanting you, but—”
“You’re not taking anything from me,” I said, feeling both angry and vulnerable with my legs spread open while he was rejecting me. He was sitting on his heels looking down at me, his dick still hard as it jetted from his body. “I’m giving it to you.”
“I’m not worthy. You deserve—”
“I deserve to be taken at my word,” I snapped, covering my breasts with my hands to try and protect myself.
“You’re a beautiful sexy woman who has waited for someone to make this moment perfect. I’m not that man.”
“You nearly were.” My eyes filled with tears. God please, don’t cry, I said to myself. “I guess you were right because now I’m just humiliated.”
“Fuck.” He turned his head to the side for a moment.
I wanted out from under him. Out of his apartment. To be honest, I wanted out of his life. How would I ever look him in the face again?
He turned back and leaned over me, his hand caressing my face. “I’m sorry, Tessa.”
“You don’t want this. I can’t hold that against you.” I sucked in my lips, hoping that my tears wouldn’t fall from my eyes.
“But I do want this. I want this so fucking bad I can hardly see straight. But it should be more than just a fuck on the couch with the single dad next door.”
“I know this isn’t a fairy tale and I’m not asking for anything. I trust you and desire you.” His face was inches from mine. His hard chest with the tattoo of Maisie’s name was a whisper away from my breasts. I wanted to pull him to me until our mouths and bodies connected again. Maybe if I took control, he’d acquiesce. But I wasn’t sure I could handle more rejection, so I simply lay there.
“You’re so sweet, Tessa. I’m not.”
“You are.” This time I took a chance, resting my hand on his cheek.
“Deep down, I’m not. You should give this gift to someone more worthy.”
“I want to give it to you. You’re the only man I’ve ever wanted to give it to.”
He dropped his forehead against mine. “I don’t want you to look back and regret this.”
I was already going to look back on my first time and think what a disaster. But he seemed to be beating himself up enough already, so I kept that to myself.
“I appreciate you looking out for me, but I’m not a child. I know what I’m doing and what I’m asking. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked it. I see now that I’ve put you in a difficult position, and I’m sorry for that.” How odd that in the end, I’d feel guilty for trying to seduce him.
He lifted his head. “I hate that I’m hurting you and yet, I think I’d hate myself for taking what I’ve been imagining having for nearly a year.”
“What?”
“You’re not the only one touching themselves and thinking of their hot neighbor.” He gave me a little smile. “You’re in my shower with me nearly every morning.”