“Fuck, Tessa.” He gave a frustrated growl.
“I’m sorry, did I—”
He let out a breath. “I’m truly thankful for what you’re doing for me, but—”
He didn’t have to finish for me to realize I’d humiliated myself again. “Never mind. It’s just the booze.”
“You deserve better than me. You deserve more than I can give you, Tessa. It’s important to me that I don’t fuck this up—”
“I know Maisie is important––”
“Not just Maisie, but my friendship with you. I don’t want to hurt you and have you think all men are inaccessible assholes.”
I stood and went to the window, but didn’t see the city lights anymore. All I could see was the reflection of my idiot face.
“I don’t like you assuming what I think or making decisi
ons for me,” I managed to say.
He was quiet and I wondered if he was just going to give up and leave.
“Fine. You want to watch me get off?”
He was messing with me now, which made me feel even more stupid, until I heard his belt buckle clank. I turned, and saw him standing as he undid his pants, dropping them to the floor. His dick sprang out long and hard and so beautiful.
He ran his hand along the length. “You did that, Tessa. Just like you do just about every fucking morning of my life since I met you.” His words were terse, and his hand movement on his dick was jerky.
I remembered how he said he imagined me sucking his dick when he’d masturbate. I had no idea how to do that, but oh God, did I want to learn.
Tentatively I walked toward him. His eyes were dark and intense as they watched me. When I reached him, I sank to my knees, until my mouth was a whisper away from his dick.
“Ah fuck, Tessa …”
“Tell me what to do.”
He cupped my chin in his hand turning my face up to look at him. “You don’t have to do this. Shouldn’t do this.”
I pulled my head away and sat back on my heels, hating how he always pushed me away. “Stop putting this on me. I might not be experienced, but I know my own feelings and desires.” I stood. “If you don’t want this, just say so instead of acting like you’re protecting me. It’s insulting.”
I started to walk away, not sure where I’d go. His hand took my arm to stop me. “I do want this. It should be obvious,” he said with a nod toward his dick.
“It wants this, you don’t. And look, Dylan, it’s okay. I get it. You’re focused on Maisie, so you probably haven’t had a lot of time for liaisons and the ones you’ve had have been with Veronica.”
His eyes darkened.
“I know I’m not her—”
“What the hell does that mean?” he reached down and pulled up his pants.
“It means I’m not Veronica. I’m not as beautiful or sexy—”
“Bullshit. Maybe I’m sending mixed messages here, but you’re not listening to me either. I’ve been clear that you’re the one starring in my early morning fantasies. I think you’re more beautiful than Veronica inside and out. I’m trying to be respectful to you here.”
“And yet all you do is make me feel inept and silly.” I tugged away again.
“You want me to fuck you, is that it?” He turned away, cursing himself as if he was upset at his outburst.
“No. Not anymore.” I made my way to the bedroom, vowing to not let my hormones and fairy tale fantasies get the best of me anymore when it came to Dylan.