&n
bsp; “I like being your friend, Tessa. I miss that. But I’m exactly as I told you before,” I said referring to the first night we had sex on my couch. I saw the starry-eyed woman who wanted a fairy tale. “I’m not a good bet for the long run.”
She nodded. “Yes. You’ve told me many times.”
And there it was again; hurt in her eyes.
I sighed. “I bet you wish you’d never seduced me.”
She looked up at me, and for the first time, I noted how tired and pale she looked. I frowned. “Are you okay? You look—”
“Just tired. It’s been a long day.” She extricated her arm from my hand and finished bringing the food to the table.
The rest of the evening went as the ones before it had; playing with Maisie, my giving her a bath and reading to her in bed, but this time, instead of hiding in my office until Tessa went to bed, I sought her out to talk. I found her in bed. She wasn’t reading as I thought she did, but instead looked like she was sleeping. It seemed too early to sleep, but maybe she and Maisie had a long day.
“Tessa.”
“Hmm?” Sleep filled her voice.
“Nothing. Get some sleep.”
“Night.”
I shut the door and went to my office. I sat at my desk reminding myself that I was getting exactly what I’d asked for. So why was I miserable? Why did my chest ache every time I looked at Tessa?
21
Tessa
Dylan was giving me an emotional whiplash. He’d been clear from the beginning what he wanted; a fake wife. He wanted the court to see a happy family, but in reality, I was still just the babysitter. A nanny. But when I gave him that, he seemed annoyed. Like he wanted something more from me. Granted, we didn’t have long talks anymore, but spending time with him only made my heart yearn for him and since he wasn’t going to reciprocate, it seemed safer to avoid anything that made me love him more than I already did.
Instead, I focused on Maisie. I loved caring for her. My days with her were fulfilling––nearly enough to make up for the sadness of not being able to love Dylan. I’d agreed to play the role, so I couldn’t be upset at him for not wanting more.
Maisie’s weeklong visit wasn’t for two weeks, but she did have a weekend trip this week while Leo was gone. Veronica and her driver picked Maisie up on Friday morning, giving me a rare day to myself. I’d made plans with Allison and Corrine to go out that night, and I planned a lunch with Mrs. Anderson on Saturday, all in an attempt to avoid having to spend time alone with Dylan.
Because I was fatigued a lot lately and noticed that I hadn’t had my period, I decided to take advantage of my free time to see the doctor. I’d never been on the pill before, but I noted that most of what I was feeling—depressed, upset stomach, breast tenderness—was listed as possible side effects. What concerned me was that I hadn’t had a period.
“Any chance you’re pregnant?” Dr. Layman asked as I sat on the exam table.
I quirked a brow. “Not if the birth control works.” God. If I was pregnant, I don’t know what Dylan would do.
She looked at my information on the EMR system. “But you’ve been having sex.”
“I have, but not in a while.”
“We should do a pregnancy test.”
What? “I’m on the pill to not get pregnant. Isn’t the effectiveness nearly a hundred percent?”
“Yes. But if you missed one—”
“I haven’t.”
“Or had sex before its full effectiveness, you could be pregnant. It’s best to get the most likely and easiest to test reason out of the way.” She studied me. “I take it a pregnancy wouldn’t be a good thing.”
“No. Not at this time.” Or any time where Dylan was concerned.
“Well, let’s test, and if it’s not that we’ll explore other options.”