“What do you have for me?”
“There were some doubts about the pregnancy the last time we talked. She is indeed pregnant and from our sources, she should be at the three-month mark approximately.”
Maggie and I had sex for the first time approximately three months ago. Had I made her pregnant? Had she been pregnant all this time? Even in the cabin? It was either me or Paul and I had no idea whether she was seeing other people at the same time. We weren’t technically seeing each other so I wouldn’t have a reason to care if she was, but I did. Paul was adamant that the baby was his, but now I had a reason to doubt him, to doubt both of them.
She was the only one who could confirm whose baby it was and I had not yet heard the words out of her mouth.
“I need you to have eyes on this guy, Paul Griffin. I need you to watch Maggie too. Something weird is going on here.”
“Could you give us some information about the man? Pau
l?” Calvin asked. I described Paul to him and he told me that he and his guys would get on it immediately.
I sat back in my chair. Three months; so much had changed in that short period. Maggie and I had gotten involved and coincidently or not, she had gotten pregnant too. The thought of being someone’s father scared the life out of me, but I had to know. We used condoms our first night together but nothing besides abstinence was one hundred percent effective.
As if my feelings about Maggie weren’t complicated enough. And then there was that dude, Paul. I didn’t know anything about them but I hated him and I felt like that was the right move. Jealousy aside, he just gave me bad vibes. I knew I wasn’t going on much but I could not believe the things he said about being with Maggie. I didn’t have a reason to hold her to any standard at all, but she seemed so above him in my estimation. He was trouble and I was going to figure it out.
28
Maggie
I looked at the pictures of the black and white blobs on my phone. It already looked like a baby but I had a hard time believing that I would be holding that thing in my arms in six months.
It didn’t make sense, but it still didn’t feel a hundred percent real. I wasn’t showing, maybe when I was I would feel different. Other people would be able to tell and it wouldn’t be a secret anymore. Maybe then people would start offering me unsolicited advice and I’d get strangers trying to touch my belly, according to reports from Brenna and Eddy who had been pregnant before.
I sighed. I was not unhappy but I wasn’t quite happy either. I was somewhere in the middle where I knew I was supposed to be happy but the circumstances were not allowing it.
I was going to be a single mother. That was not the kind of motherhood journey that I would’ve chosen for myself but there was nothing I could do about that now. It didn’t matter what I wanted as much as what was best for my baby and my baby’s father had shown me that he wasn’t interested in being a part of their life.
At the hospital alone for my first ultrasound, I was embarrassed. Deep down I knew that there was no reason to be, that a lot of people did it alone, not just women but men too. The fact was that in this day and age families took all different sizes and combinations. I was smart and I was strong and I had people around me who were supportive and kind, I would get through it.
Still, when the friendly ultrasound tech that was making small talk asked whether me and the dad were excited about our first kid, I lied and said that we both were. When she went ahead and asked why the dad wasn’t there with me, I lied again and said this was all part of an elaborate surprise for him. For what it was worth, she thought it was cute and I got to bask in the idea of surprising my partner was a pregnancy that both of us wanted.
Fuck Toby. Seriously, fuck that man, just not literally.
He had ghosted me.
We had the same friend group. We weren’t that close and I didn’t know the details of his personal life but I felt positive that he didn’t hang out with anybody besides Easton and the rest of the gang. How was he going to stay away from me when we knew all the same people?
I was thinking of going to his office. I had seriously considered it, probably because of the baby hormones because after giving it some time, it didn’t seem worth it anymore. It wasn’t worth the effort, possible embarrassment and the definite rejection because his silence was all the confirmation that I needed to tell me that he had no intention of being part of my life or my child’s life.
And that was okay. It was low and of course I would’ve chosen two parents over one, but things didn’t always work out that way. Long story short, I wasn’t going to cry about it. He wasn’t worth the effort or the tears. I had someone else who needed my focus and they were going to be arriving in about six or seven months.
“Are you busy this evening?” Missy asked me. I looked up from my phone at her across the table.
“Yeah, I wanted to do a little shopping.”
“Well, I’ve just been talking with the client, you know the one; the socialite, and she wants to reschedule our meeting to this afternoon so you’re free to go if you don’t want to stay here,” she said. Was there another job on earth that had hours this flexible?
“Oh, that sounds great. Thanks.”
“Of course,” Missy said. “Are you okay by the way?”
“Sorry?” I asked, standing up and stuffing my phone into my purse.
“We work together, but I do consider you my friend. I feel like things have been kind of awkward lately between us?” Missy said.
“Oh, no, no way. I just had a weird a few months or so. It’s definitely nothing to do with the two of us.”