Imperfect Love (Heart of Hope 4)

“I do. But I don’t want to hurt you.”

“They don’t hurt. But what happens if I end up having a mastectomy? The thing you find the most erotic about me will be gone.”

“Terra.” I turned her toward me as my heart broke for her. “It’s more than tits that make me hard. It’s you. I love you. I love touching your body, not just your tits. I love being inside you.”

She looked down and I knew why. If I loved it so much, why hadn’t I made love to her in so long.

“Many nights I’ve come home wanting you, but I didn’t think you were interested,” I said by way of explanation. “And if you don’t want to make love now, I’ll understand.”

“I do want to. I just don’t want you to be disappointed.”

“Oh baby, that wouldn’t ever happen. I don’t want to hurt you or make you uncomfortable.”

She reached behind her to release the clasp of the halter of her dress. She peeled the front down, exposing her lovely creamy tits. My mouth watered to suck them, but I resisted. Cancer was growing there and I didn’t want to do anything to hurt her.

She cupped her tits. “I want you to ravish them.”

My dick, already hard, turned to steel.

“While they’re here, untouched, I want to savor them. I want you to savor them,” she finished.

I leaned forward and gently kissed the tip of one nipple. “If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

I wanted to do exactly as she asked; savor her tits. But I didn’t plan to focus on just each soft globe. I wanted to worship all of her. I started with her lips, pulling her to me and fusing my mouth with hers in a kiss that harkened back to our beginning. It was firm, deep, exploratory, and set the tone for what was to come.

14

Terra

It was wrong of me to try to keep my distance from Brayden. He was right in that a part of me thought that his being away so much meant he wasn’t as invested in me, but that was an excuse so I could blame him for our troubles. I knew who he was when I fell in love with him. He worked hard, willing to put in extra hours for a job well done.

I’d also known that his own poverty-filled childhood was a big part of what drove him to succeed. I’d been a part of his world until we had kids, so it was wrong of me to expect him to change that once we had kids. In fact, when I quit to stay home, he had to pick up some of the slack my leaving left behind, so of course he had to work more.

Not that our problems were all my fault, but I wasn’t blameless. Neither of us were bad people. We’d just gotten so caught up in our roles as provider and mother, we forgot to nurture us. He’d been trying to fix that lately and I

’d been the one putting the breaks on. It was cruel of me and senseless. He was right in that just because we’d lost each other didn’t mean our feelings had changed.

My giving in to him wasn’t just about wanting to reconnect with him in such a beautiful and primal way. It was also about wanting to have a last moment of normalcy. My body was intact. I had the energy and desire. And my husband wanted me. Starting next week, that would change. At least my energy and probably desire. So, I was going to savor this moment as well.

Brayden’s lips consumed mine in a way they hadn’t in a long, long time. His taste and the fervor of his mouth working mine send an electric current straight to my center. Instinctively, I ground my pelvis against him, wishing we were already naked and he was filling me.

“I need you.” My voice was desperate against his mouth, as my hands worked the buttons of his shirt.

He pulled away, holding my arms. “We have all night. Let’s use it well.”

I nodded, but need continued to course through me. It was almost as if I needed him inside me to make me whole again.

As if he could see it in me, he said, “I’m going to take care of you Terra.” He took his time undressing me. His hands slowly caressing my skin as each part of my body was exposed. When I was naked, he turned me until I was facing the mirror again.

“Look at how beautiful you are.” His hands slid over my shoulders.

I suppose it was typical for a mom, but what I saw were heaving breasts that once were higher, a small pouch on my belly that had once been taut, and round soft flesh over my hips that once had been narrow.

He must have known I didn’t see whatever it was he was seeing. “Look how beautiful I think you are.”

I lifted my gaze to his in the reflection. His blue eyes were filled with emotion and desire. His gaze drifted down to my breasts and I saw a flash of heat in them as his thumbs flicked over my nipples.