“You asked.”
“Did you ever think of tossing me back?” The minute I said it I regretted it because clearly she had when she spoke to a divorce lawyer.
“No. I knew almost from the minute I saw you that you were a keeper.”
“Are you sure?”
She looked up at me. “I broke the rules at work to have you.”
I kissed her nose. “I wanted you from first look too. I nearly quit because of those rules.” We sat in silence as we watched our children play. Our love created them, I thought. Sure, many kids, myself included, were conceived from an emotionless sex act, but my kids weren’t. Each time Terra made love to get pregnant, I felt the miracle of what we were doing. Of what our love was creating. This was another part of my life that I wasn’t cherishing enough.
The kids played until they were worn out.
“How about ice cream?” I said as I helped clip Noah’s seatbelt on his booster in the car.
“Yay!” Lanie shouted.
“I can show you where I convinced your mom to marry me.”
“Will there be kissing?” Lanie said with a distasteful tone. “I don’t want kissing.”
I bit back a laugh as I looked at Terra who had an amused smile.
“I can’t promise no kissing,” I said. “Sometimes I can’t help it.”
“Kissing monster,” Lanie groaned. “Noah, do you like the kissing monster?”
I looked back through the rear-view mirror at Noah to see his reaction.
He shrugged. “It’s alright.”
As I drove out of the park, I spoke in a low voice to Terra. “Do you like the kissing monster?”
She turned to me. “Yes, I think I do.”
I pulled her hand up to my lips to kiss it. In the back, Lanie groaned again.
“Someday you’ll like kissing,” Terra said.
I frowned. “Not my little girl. No boys will be kissing her.”
Terra shook her head and laughed at me, but then a sadness crossed her face. “I hope I see that.”
My heart broke. “You will.” I gripped her hand, willing her cancer to wither and die, and leave Terra to live a long happy life with me.
We rode in silence until we reached the ice cream shop well-known for crafting its own iced desserts and where I asked her to marry me. We got the kids out of the car and went into the shop.
As we stood in line, I leaned over to Terra. “I’d marry you again in an instant.”
She turned to me. “Me too.” Her eyes were filled with love and I knew she was also thinking of the night I’d proposed to her. It hadn’t been flashy or overly romantic, and yet, it had felt perfect for us. That day, she’d agreed not only to spend her life with me, but also build a business as well. I remembered thinking we’d achieve a perfect life. Our love was solid. Our goals were in line. How had we lost that?
I pushed our problems away and focused on the fact that we were back on track. Life was as it should be. And when Terra beat this cancer, we’d finally have our happily ever after.
18
Terra
It was harder than I wanted to keep the thoughts about cancer at bay. I’d wanted a perfect day with my family before everything changed, but every now and then, reminders of my illness would filter in. Like when Brayden said no boys would ever kiss Lanie. It made me think of her being older and wondering if I’d be here when she had her first boyfriend, her first heartbreak. Would I attend her wedding or hold her child?