Imperfect Love (Heart of Hope 4)

“He misses you too,” I said, glad that I remembered to check on him and give him some fish food.

After dinner, I drove them down to their grandfather’s house hoping I’d have a chance to see and talk to Terra. I couldn’t remember going so long without seeing her since I met her. It was unsettling each day that passed and I didn’t see her. This was what it would be like if she divorced me or worse, her cancer took her. I couldn’t live like that. She was as essential to me

as breathing. It was clear I wasn’t that for her, but if I was lucky, I’d get a chance to change that.

“There’s the munchkins,” my father-in-law, Tom, said when he opened the door.

“We’re not munchkins,” Lanie said. “We’re kids.”

“Really?” Tom said. “How do I know the difference?”

“Grandpa!”

“Well if you’re kids, Verna has some cookies for you in the kitchen,” he said referring to his cook. Tom was financially well-off, and a reminder that my fears about being broke were unfounded. At the very least, he’d take care of Terra and the kids if something happened to us financially. As comforting as that was, it was also unsettling. I couldn’t put my, or my family’s security in the hands of another. That was my job.

“Yay!” Lanie and Noah rushed through the door.

Tom watched them as they made their way into the house. Then he turned to me. “Did you have a good afternoon?”

I studied his face for clues as to what Terra might have told him. He didn’t look like he wanted to rip my head off, which had to be a good sign.

“I did. Can I see Terra?” I stepped into the foyer, but Tom didn’t invite me further into the home so I stayed there. Perhaps he did know something after all.

“She’s resting.” He had a pained expression and I could only imagine the difficulty he was having in dealing with the fact that the same disease that had taken his wife was now growing in his daughter.

Even so, it didn’t sit right with me that Terra wouldn’t see me.

“I don’t know why she waited so long to tell me about her illness,” he said.

I didn’t know the answer to that either, except maybe she waited as a way to protect him.

He gave me a pointed look over. “Everything alright with you two?”

I tried to keep my expression blank. “What does she say?”

He blew out a breath. “That’s about as close to no as I’ve gotten. What’s going on?”

I shook my head, not wanting to delve into my relationship problems with my father-in-law.

His eyes narrowed. “Are you cheating on my daughter?”

What the fuck? Why did everyone think that? “No, sir. Never.” I hoped he believed the firmness of my tone. “I love her.”

It dawned on me at that moment that I couldn’t remember the last time Terra had told me she loved me. Had she during the short time we’d reconnected several weeks ago? Before that she’d been talking to a lawyer. Jesus, did she even love me.

Tom studied me. “But what?”

“I don’t know that she still loves me.” I’m not sure why I said that, except maybe I was looking for reassurance that she did.

“Of course, she does.”

I couldn’t be sure he was saying that as an automatic response or that it was because Terra had told him she loved me.

“I haven’t always been there for her, but I’m working on changing that.” I wanted to ask if he knew if or when she planned to come home.

“Good to hear. She needs someone now to help her through this.”

“Are you sure I can’t see her?” It was killing me to know she was in the house and I couldn’t see her. Was she okay?