Imperfect Love (Heart of Hope 4)

I kissed her again, feeling elated. Like I’d finally achieved a dream. I’d thought my dream was financial security, and while I had achieved that, it turned out my dream was Terra, and building a family and life with her.

“I’d like to stay here and kiss you some more…well actually, I’d like to take you home and make love—”

“We can’t?” She looked up at me with disappointment in her expression.

“Emma and the kids should be showing up shortly.”

“It was nice of her to help with your grand gesture.” Terra leaned against me. It was unbelievable how good it felt to have her reaching to me for once.

“I worried she might not. I wasn’t sure what you might have told her. I was afraid she’d hate me.”

“I did talk to her about some things. Interestingly enough, she seemed to side with you. Maybe that’s why the kids wonder if you’ll marry her if I die.”

I jerked, not sure how to respond to that crazy statement. “Ah…”

She laughed softly. “Kids really do say the darndest things.”

“Why would they even say that?”

“I told them I had to have surgery. They put together that I had what my mom had and it didn’t go well for her. I tried to reassure them without lying, but...They worried about who’d take care of them.” She looked up at me with apologetic eyes. “They thought you worked too much to—”

“I know.”

“Anyway, I told them Emma and others would always be there and that’s when they asked if you’d marry her.”

“There’s only you for me, Terra. Whatever happens.”

Her eyes watered again. “I know it might not seem like it, but I do want you to be happy. If I did die—”

“Don’t. Don’t talk like that.” I gave her little shake because I couldn’t bear thinking about it.

“I’d want you to be happy. Maybe not with Emma because that would be weird.” She paused. “Then again, I trust her—”

“Jesus, Terra…stop.” I was ready to cover my ears because I couldn’t hear anymore of this nonsense. If Terra died, I’d be alone for the rest of my life. How she could think I could love someone else was beyond me.

“I wouldn’t want you to be alone.”

“Don’t think like that. You’re going to beat this.”

She nodded. “I suppose there’s always your hand in the shower.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes. If necessary. But it won’t be because I expect you to give me all my orgasms from now on.”

She grinned. “Deal.”

“We better get going because my dick is growing and I don’t want to be arrested for indecent activities in the gazebo.”

While I wanted to focus on completing the connection between Terra and me, we had children, and so instead, I focused on us as a family. We went to lunch and for the first time in what seemed like forever I felt a part of them. This was what I’d sacrificed. I wouldn’t do that again.

It started to rain that afternoon, so we headed home. The kids asked if we could camp and have s’mores. I looked at Terra sitting next to me in the car.

“Camping? In the rain?” I asked.

“The living room,” she explained.

Again, another thing I’d missed out on. “That sounds like fun. I can make a fire in the fireplace for s’mores.”

“Yay!” Lanie’s hands shot up in victory. “I love s’mores, daddy.”