“Fuck.” He turned and headed back into the house. Since he didn’t shut the door on me, I followed him in. He sat on the couch. On the coffee table were three bottles of beer, two of which were empty.
“Getting drunk?” I asked.
“Maybe.”
I went to sit next to him. “Want company while you do?”
He looked at me. “Not worried Eli will come by and haul you home?”
I glared at him. “Eli isn’t my keeper.”
He sighed. “Why are you here?”
“Because I know you must be hurting and I want to be here for you.”
“Dick didn’t send you to find out if I fucked up?”
“No.” That wasn’t a lie. Sure, Dick wanted me to look into what happened, but that’s not why I was there. “What can I do to help?” I took his hand in mine.
He looked down at where my hand held his. “Go back in time. Have the tests done quicker. Have Mrs. Pierce’s baby wait a few hours. Take your pick.”
Tests done quicker? I made a mental note to check on that, but I didn’t want to go over procedures with him right now.
I leaned my head on his shoulder. “Remember the first time you lost someone in your residency?”
“I remember everyone I’ve lost, Mia. I don’t need to go down that memory lane.”
I squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make it worse. I just remember how we tried to celebrate their life.”
“We had sex.”
“Eventually we did, yes. But we did more than that.”
He scoffed. “I remember wanting to not feel the tremendous strain of failing and losing a life, and using sex to escape it.” He turned his head, putting his face within inches of mine. “You going to help me escape it now?”
“Is that what you want?” In my brain, danger, danger screamed. Sex wasn’t the answer to Nick’s pain.
“To not feel like shit? Yes. To have sex? With you? Yes.”
I pressed my hand to his cheek. “That won’t fix—”
“I know that,” he snapped.
I removed my hand, but he took it and laid on his groin. “But what I’d do to fucking get lost in sensation instead of emotion for just a second.”
I want to say it was instinct that had my hand closing around his cock through his jeans. He sighed, like I’d given him a balm to soothe his tortured soul. What harm would it be to give him a respite from the pain and guilt?
I leaned toward him, pressing my lips against his. It had been four years since I’d kissed him. The feel of his mouth, firm and smooth, brought back a torrent of emotions and sensations.
He groaned. “Don’t tease me, Mia.”
“No teasing, Nick.” I straddled his thighs. “Clear your mind. Just feel.” I kissed him again, running my hands down his chest, which was harder and more defined than four years ago.
His hands slid under my blouse, and his kiss grew more insistent. “Make me forget, Mia. Make me fucking forget.”
The last time I had sex with Nick Foster was four years ago. It was slow, sweet … perfect. I’d been hopelessly in love with him.
Just after I had a delicious orgasm, my brother, Eli showed up by surprise. He wasn’t happy to discover my relationship with his best friend. No, he was pissed, feeling betrayed by Nick. That altercation caused the initial crack in Nick and my relationship. It didn’t take long for it to grow and tear us apart. The love that I thought would last forever was gone within forty-eight hours. Well, maybe not the love, but the relationship was over.