“I could eat.”
“Do you mean me or food?”
I waggled my eyebrows. “Both.”
“Both it is then.”
He fixed me dinner, and we sat on his deck overlooking the lake to eat it.
“You got your cabin on the lake,” I said as I finished my meal and sat back to enjoy the view.
“I did.”
He didn’t bring up how at one point we were going to share this space. Just as well. The past was gone, and it didn’t do any good to wonder what could have been. “Do the bears bother you?”
“Only if I don’t deal with the garbage right.”
We sat in silence, and I wanted to ask him about Ms. Mason and how he was coping. As if he knew that, he said, “I don’t want to talk about my work or Ms. Mason tonight. I need a break from it, Mia.”
I nodded. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”
“What was your life in L.A. like? Movie stars and swimming pools?”
“Not for me. I had a nice enough place. I liked my job.”
The light in his eyes dimmed slightly. “So, this is just a short-term thing? Are you thinking of moving your dad down there when he needs more care?”
“I haven’t thought that far ahead. Eli has a say, of course. Right now, I’m just taking it day by day.”
“But you see yourself leaving here again at some point.”
I sipped my wine. “Honestly, Nick, I have no idea. I miss some of the aspects of the city, but I can’t deny the slower pace and being around people who know and care about me is nice. It’s a double edged sword in both locations.”
“How so?” he asked, pouring me more wine.
“In L.A., I don’t have to worry about people knowing my business, but also, I don’t have people to worry about or help me. Here, people care about me, but that means they know all my business.” I looked down. “Someone could see my car outside and start to talk.”
He nodded. “I’ll move it into the garage. That is, if you’ll stay.”
“I might have to. I’ve lost count of the amount of wine I’ve had.”
He grinned, topping of my glass again.
We were quiet a bit longer, when I asked. “Have you and Eli ever talked since that night he showed up to my apartment four years ago?”
Nick’s jaw tensed. “Not really. I’ve tried. Mostly he just yells at me for fucking you.”
“My dad says he’s disenchanted and taking it out on you because you achieved your goals.”
“Not all of them.” His green eyes bore into mine, filled with a meaning I didn’t quite get.
“What haven’t you achieved?”
He continued to stare for a moment and then looked down. “Just stuff. As far as Eli goes, I’ve given up. To be honest, he always did have a lazy streak. Maybe not lazy, but not working to his potential. He’d rather take the easy route. You and I, we stayed on course for our goals. Never veering, even when it meant sacrificing something important.”
It didn’t take a shrink to know he meant sacrificing us.
“By taking the easy route, Eli doesn’t have to work so hard or sacrifice, except that what he doesn’t realize is that he’s given up achieving his goals. That’s his sacrifice. It’s his fault, not mine, but I can see where he’d have resentment about it.”