I pulled her to me before she could leave the kitchen. “Stay with me tonight.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “That’s probably not a good idea.”
“We can put your car in the garage, although I’m not on a busy road. I don’t have neighbors close by. No one will know.” I knew I should respect her wishes and her job. Jesus, if she got fired because of me, I’m not sure I’d could take anymore guilt.
“Do you think it’s wise? Living in the past.”
A stab of pain lanced my heart, even thought I’d thought the same thing. What we were engaging in was reminiscing about old times, not something new. “I know you’re not interested in a relationship. And I don’t want to get you in trouble. But I’d like to spend more time with you.”
Her smile was slow and coy. “One night.”
I didn’t want to limit how many times we might spend together. “Tonight.”
“Okay.”
Thank fuck. It was still early, but I led her to my bed and lost myself in her sweet scent and her soft body. I was sure I’d sleep through the night with only images of her and pleasure. It started out that way, with Mia riding me, her round tits bouncing as she made my dick sing with joy. Just before my dream orgasm, Ms. Mason showed up, asking how I could be enjoying life after what I’d done. Jane Parker appeared next to her, accusing me of abandoning her in her time of need and allowing her to die. Eli, Jim and Mia joined them, all of them crowding me, blaming me. Soon faceless entities who left messages on my phone surrounded me.
“Fuck!” I lurched up, my body in a cold sweat as my heart raced in my chest.
“Nick?” Mia sat up next to me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I flipped the sheet off of me and made my way to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face. That woke me up, but I still felt shaky. Like everyone in my dream was right behind me, ready to jump out like a boogeyman.
I left the bathroom and went to my kitchen for a drink. As I downed the first gulp, Mia showed up wearing my old Stanford medical shirt.
She leaned against the doorframe and studied me. “Did you have a nightmare?”
“It’s nothing.” I finished the drink and poured another, praying she left it alone and went back to bed.
“How often do you have them?”
“It’s no big deal, Mia.” Maybe it was a bad idea to invite her to stay. The hard stare suggested she wasn’t going to let this go.
“It is if you’re not getting a good night’s sleep.”
“I’m fine.” I set my glass down a little too forcefully, the sound of the thunk echoing in my kitchen.
“It’s not. If you’re not getting enough sleep, it will compromise you at work. Is that why you’re distracted?”
I turned to her. “You have a problem with my medical skills?” I was glaring at her, but she didn’t seem to care.
She glared back. “I have a problem with a doctor who isn’t operating at one hundred percent. Have you been having these dreams for a long time? Is that why you’re worried you messed up with Ms. Mason?”
“Jesus.” I pointed to my knife block. “Why don’t you just stab me with that. It’ll hurt less.”
Her eyes softened just a little bit. “I’m not trying to hurt you, Nick, but this is serious. The person who gets blamed in this situation is you.”
I stared at her for a moment, feeling betrayed while knowing she was right. “Is that what you’re doing? Working with Dick
and the powers that be to say I was at fault?”
“No. But there is concern something went wrong, and as the doctor, the buck stops with you.”
I scoffed. “If you want to figure out what went wrong, find out why my tests weren’t done. I ordered them and yet they never happened. Why, Mia? You’re the one that said EMR systems were fallible. Did ours fuck me over?”
I moved past her, and headed back to my bathroom, getting a sleeping pill and downing it with tap water. When I got back to the room, Mia was dressing. A part of me felt like I should apologize and ask her to stay. I wanted her to. I suppose it was pride that had me not inviting her back into my bed.
I climbed under my sheets. “If you’re leaving, be sure to close the garage door when you go.”