Our Last Chance (Heart of Hope 1)

He seemed to ponder that. “She hasn’t said anything, but PTSD is underreported in doctors.”

I shook my head. “We don’t work in combat zones or have our lives threatened.”

“PTSD isn’t limited to war or violent trauma. Daily experiences in hyper-tense moments that cause prolonged stress can cause it. In the emergency room, you’re confronted daily by life and death situations in which you have only seconds to react. I understand that during your residency you were threatened with a weapon twice.”

“Mia told you about that?”

“She did. The point is, PTSD is a rewiring of the brain and fight or flight system due to stress. That system is what keeps you alert and ready for anything in the emergency room. And sometimes things go wrong, in which guilt, I’m sure, gets added to it.”

I swallowed. “What you’re saying is true, but doctors need all that to be effective and human.”

“Yes, but it takes a toll. Do you have bad dreams?”

“On occasion,” I said not wanting to give away my recent nightly visits from his wife and Ms. Mason blaming me for their deaths. “Everyone does.”

He sighed. “Well, if you ever want to talk, I’m here for you. Between us only.”

I was glad he seemed to be letting the conversation go. “I appreciate that Jim. You know, what’s stressful for me is how you always kick my ass in chess.”

He let out a bark of a laugh. “No mercy in chess, son.”

20

Mia

When Nick didn’t show up for work the next day, I worried he might have quit. I hated the way things were left between us. Why didn’t he understand what a difficult position I was in? I could lose my license to practice if I didn’t represent my client, the hospital, to my full ability. That included Nick, but only to a certain point.

I didn’t want to use what I knew against him, but legally, I might have to. If his work was compromising patients now, I’d have no qualms about it, but I didn’t like that I might have to betray him. Then again, he could just as easily betray me, and let the administration know I’d slept with him.

God, what a situation I got myself in. I could only hope that he’d get a lawyer and that he and I could keep our secrets about each other to ourselves.

On the next day, he was back at work, which was a good sign. In the afternoon, a striking woman about my age entered my office and introduced herself as Victoria Manning, Nick’s new lawyer.

I should have guessed he find a lawyer that was beautiful. In some ways, she had similar features to me. Dark hair, blue eyes, and smart. She was also a few inches taller and several pounds thinner.

“I’m representing Dr. Nicholas Foster in a malpractice suit and am here to gather information.”

“We don’t just hand over documents,” I said, feeling annoyed and yes, jealous that this woman got to do what I couldn’t: protect Nick.

Her brow arched. “My representation of him gives the hospital extra protection. I’d think you want that.”

I studied her, and couldn’t help but wonder if she’d seen Nick naked. Was that part of his payment for her services? Good golly, Mia, stop going there.

“Unless you decide to put the blame on the hospital,” I said.

“It sounds like you’re sure there is a case.”

I tried not to wince as I realized my mistake. “There doesn’t have to be a case for you to cast doubt elsewhere in representing your client.”

“So, are you going to make me file with the court to get the documents I need to represent my client? As you said, there doesn’t have to be a case for this to look bad. What would the community of Goldrush Lake think if it looked like the hospital was trying to cover up or perhaps toss one of their doctors under the bus?”

“We will cooperate, of course. The hospital values Dr. Foster’s work.” I wanted to say more to defend Nick, but didn’t want to give her something to use against me if this went to court. I could see it already. I’d be on the stand and she’d ask me, “Did you tell me how much the hospital valued Nick’s work and didn’t feel he did anything wrong?” That’s what I believed, but I couldn’t let her use my personal beliefs against my client.

“I’d like to have everything

in his HR file, along with a transcript of the EMR, and Ms. Mason’s file.”

“I can get you everything but Ms. Mason’s full file at this time. You are an outside party, so I’m not able to release those. In fact, I’ll need to check on whether or not I can give you the EMR.”