She narrowed her eyes at me. “Peggy was right. You’re wanting me to say something so you can get him fired. I thought you were his friend.”
I sighed. “I don’t want him to be fired, but if he’s a danger to patients—”
“I never said that.” She looked at me like the devil in me was just revealed. I felt certain she’d never see me as a friend again. Not that we were friends, but I wouldn’t be invited back to the Monday night drinking hour.
“Candace, regardless of my friendship with Nick, my job is to make sure this hospital stays out of legal entanglements.”
She stood. “Forget I said anything.”
“Candace, I want what’s best for him—”
“No, you don’t. No one does. Every day he comes here and does his job. When he’s on nights and doesn’t have a patient, he doesn’t rest like the other doctors. Instead he spends his time with the ones that have to stay over so they don’t feel so lonely. The hospital is scary quiet at night. He doesn’t want people to feel that. But outside people are blaming him for Ms. Mason’s death and no one except the ER staff is defending him. That statement the hospital put out is bullshit. It not only pissed off the community because it looked like we didn’t care, but it also made the ER look shoddy. Clearly, this place doesn’t care about anyone but itself. I thought you were different, but you’re just like the rest of them.”
She walked out, and I had to wonder about the statement. I’d drafted something for Dick to give, and I was sure it wouldn’t make the ER look bad. It was designed to calm the community. I went to my computer and searched for recent statements from the hospital. I found an article in the paper that had quotes from hospital admin. Why hadn’t they pulled me in before doing an interview?
While I wouldn’t have said it made the ER look bad, I could see how they’d think the hospital didn’t care much. At best, Dick made the hospital seem indifferent. Like Ms. Mason’s death was all in the course of a regular day in the ER. Dick didn’t do a very good job defending Nick or the ER staff, either. What was worse was that he made it appear the hospital had moved on, which was insensitive to the significant loss Ms. Mason’s death left the community.
I pulled up Nick’s file as I wondered if any of the things Peggy and Candace had said to me were filtering to HR. Sure enough, there were a couple of notes about the change in his demeanor.
I called down to the ER and asked if they’d send Nick up. I didn’t want to show my face down there and have them all look at me like a Benedict Arnold. Hopefully, the desk person wouldn’t tell everyone that I’d requested to see him. I shook my head at my naivety. This was Goldrush Lake, everyone told everything about everyone.
Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door.
“You summoned?” His voice was dull and distant. While the last time I’d seen him, we’d left on friendly terms, I could see that now the wedge between us was thicker. Was it because of Eli? Was it because he’d moved on with his lawyer? Did he know people were reporting his change of behavior? Did he think it was from me?
“Come in,” I said coming around my desk. I didn’t want him to feel like he’d been sent to the principal’s office. I shut the door, and then took the seat next to the chair he sat in.
“I’ve had a couple of people express some concern about you.”
He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, they were still flat. “I’m fine. I can do the job.”
“They’re not worried about that. They’re worried about you. As a person. As their friend. As I am.”
; “Is that why you put things in my employee record that question my ability.”
So he did blame me. “I’ve never said anything you’ve told me when we were …"
“Fucking?” he offered.
I nodded and then studied him carefully. He had dark circles under his eyes. He didn’t just look tired, he looked washed out. Like the life had left him.
“Why won’t you consider the counseling, Nick?”
“Because I don’t need more shit on my record, for one. Do you and the rest of the powers that be want me to quit? If so, just fire me or ask me to resign. All these mind games are worse than what I endure in the ER that you think is traumatizing me.”
“No one wants you to quit.”
“Only because you worry I’ll sue for wrongful termination. And what the hell is with Eli?”
This time I needed a moment to gather myself. “I don’t know, Nick. He’s … I don’t know the man he’s become. Dad doesn’t either.” I wanted to reach out and touch him, but didn’t. “I hope this won’t affect your friendship with my father.”
“Why would it? He’s been nothing but decent to me.”
I sat back feeling relief that at least they had each other. Maybe my father could use his counseling skills on Nick, although, being somewhat paranoid, I doubted Nick was going to share his demons with my father.
“I know it feels like we’re at odds, but I don’t feel that, Nick. I’m not out to get you—”