“Your mental health is nothing to take lightly,” my father said. “We don’t think less of you if you’re struggling, but we will be highly annoyed if you don’t do something about it.” My father put his hand on my back. It was both reassuring, but also insisting.
“Fine. I’ll go.”
“Good. Now, tell us about you and Mia. We heard she moved back home. Did you and she rekindle things?” my mother smiled hopefully.
I laughed. “People have a really odd fascination with me and Mia.”
“A mother always hopes her son will find a nice girl, settle down, and have babies. We might even move back to Goldrush Lake if there were grandchildren.”
I wiped the condensation off my ice tea glass. “I don’t know that I’ll be going back to Goldrush Lake.”
My mother’s smile faltered, but then rallied. She put her hand over mine. “You’ll find your path, Nick. Your dad and I are here for whatever you need.”
This was why I’d come to my parents. I was a grown man, but sometimes, even a grown man needed his base, his center, to help him get straight. A part of me wished I could have that with Mia, and at the same time, it knew it was too much to ask her to take me on when I was clearly not in a good place right now.
32
Mia
“What do you mean he left?”
Eli stood by my bedside. He’d come in early the next morning while I was getting yet another assessment by the nurse.
“He said he needed to take some time away to get his shit together.”
I frowned. “Did you have one of your tantrums and make him leave?”
His jaw tightened. “No. In fact, we talked a bit. You were right, Mia. He’s got no reason to stay. No job. A town that’s pissed.”
My heart split in two. Nick didn’t feel the desire to stay for me. I wasn’t a reason to remain in town.
“Will he be back?”
Eli frowned. “He didn’t know. Why are you crying?” He grabbed a tissue and handed it to me. I hadn’t realized I was crying until he said something.
“Just overly emotional, I guess.”
“Do you still love him?”
I wiped the tears, opting not to answer. Eli was the last person to discuss my feelings about Nick with.
“I hope he finds what he needs. I know it’s been hard for him.”
“Mia.” Eli took my hand, and I thought he was going to ask again, but instead he said, “I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“For whatever my part is in your crying.”
I squeezed his hand. “I like it when you’re like this.”
“What? Nice?” He gave me a crooked smile.
“Yes. Not bitter and angry. Suspicious of the world.”
He looked down. “I know I’ve been an asshole. Not just about Nick but everything. I realized last night that he doesn’t have it so great after all.”
“Oh?” My heart clenched at the idea that Nick was in pain.