“It’s against the law to block access to care.”
“They were there because of me.”
“Are you sure? Why isn’t it your patient’s fault for not getting to the hospital sooner? Maybe if she had, your tests would have been done fast enough to diagnose and treat her.”
My brain skidded to a halt at his statement.
“What? What about what I said has you reacting?”
I couldn’t quite say, and yet, there was something about it. “I’m not sure, but it … I need to reread my notes.”
“So maybe there’s something to that?”
“Maybe.”
He stood and went to his desk, opening a drawer. “Here is a journal. If you don’t want this, you can buy one. But track your triggers, even if it’s just a guilty thought, but especially your dreams and anything that causes you to feel anxious.”
I took the journal.
“You don’t have to show it to me or anyone. It’s just for you. Sort of like how you write notes for your patients. You’re chronicling your symptoms.”
I laughed. “Good way to talk to a doctor.”
“Doctors can make the worst patients.”
When I got home, I went through my laptop to find the notes on Ms. Mason that I’d copied and saved when the lawsuit started. I wasn’t eager to relive that day again, and yet, I knew there was something I missed about that day.
I checked the medical data; her heart rate, blood pressure, and a slight temperature. I went through my observations; the clammy skin, swollen legs. I reviewed her statements about how she was feeling; like her batteries were running down. That along with my observations had made me concerned about her heart and lungs, which was why I ordered the tests. I’d asked her about chest pain or difficulty breathing, but her answer wasn’t clear.
I asked her about the day, and in particular when she started feeling bad. I remembered she was all over the place during our conversation. She’d been excited that a former student was now a doctor. But she had said she woke feeling bad that morning, according to my notes. I kept reading, and then I saw it. She’d asked her son to bring her to the hospital, and he’d sent his son. But it was several hours before he actually got her to the hospital because he had to finish a game and later go make up with his girlfriend.
I pulled up the autopsy and notes from the pathologist. I wanted to call and talk to her, but now that I quit, I probably couldn’t. But Mia could. She already had. Didn’t she tell me that the autopsy indic
ated it might have already been too late for Ms. Mason when she got to the hospital?
I was beginning to feel vindicated. The only problem was, what sort of asshole would I be to blame her grandson for her death? I didn’t want that, but I did want to be out from under the shadow of Ms. Mason’s death, so I called Victoria.
“They’re suing me for negligence when they’re the ones who neglected her,” I explained to her.
“That could change things. Have you mentioned this to the hospital lawyer?”
“No. I quit actually.” I wondered if I should have told her that sooner.
“What? Why? Did the hospital run you out?”
“No. The town did. It doesn’t matter. Look, I don’t want to blame the grandson, but I do want to be free of this. I did everything right.”
“I understand. There’s still a question about the tests too. The chest x-ray wasn’t received. That puts all this either on the hospital or the grandson. Or both. But not you. I’ll see about talking to the family’s attorney. Maybe this will make them drop it.”
“I don’t know. They might see me or the hospital as trying to blame them.” I didn’t the town thinking I’d retaliate by blaming the family.
“They can continue the lawsuit with the hospital. That doesn’t matter. As long as they drop your case, that’s all I’m hired to worry about.”
“Maybe I should call—”
“Don’t call your former employer about this, Nick. Let’s not get into a more complicated situation than this is already.”
I agreed, but I felt a little bit like I was betraying Mia by not giving her a heads up. Then again, hadn’t she stuck with the hospital when it was positioning me as the culprit? Just thinking that made me sound petty.