“April, I don’t have time for one of your tantrums—"
“Fuck you, Auggie.” My temper whipped out, surprising even me. “I’m sick and tired of you dismissing me and everything I try to contribute to make this firm run better. You do the same thing at home, and I’m done with it. I get that I was an immature, inexperienced, naïve kid when mom and dad died and you had to help me. But now I’m educated, experienced, smart, and certainly more committed to this firm than that dickwad manager Lowell. But listen, if you can’t value me and my input, I’ll find some place that will.”
He rolled his eyes telling me he thought I was being histrionic. “You’re overreacting. Take the day off and—”
“I quit.” I didn’t even wait for his response. I walked back to my desk and packed my things. The fact that he didn’t follow me or try to stop me meant he didn’t care or didn’t believe me. Probably both. He’d see this as more proof that I was immature and needed his guidance.
Fueled by my anger, I carried my things out to my car, tossing them in the back. I got in and drove, not knowing where I’d go. Thank goodness Maya was at camp all day because the realization of what I’d just done hit me and I’d need some time to deal with it. I’d just stood up to my brother and quit my job. It felt so good, and yet also terrifying.
I started past a park and decided to stop to gather my wits about me. My heart was beating a million miles a minute.
“This is it, April,” I told myself. “Phase one of Get My Own Life.” Now that I was out from under August at work, I had to get out from under him at home. That meant moving.
I took out my phone and did a search on available apartments. Not having a job would make moving out hard, but I did have my little nest egg just for this purpose. Plus, I did have my share of the trust, although I’d need to fight August over accessing it.
I realized I’d walked out on August telling him I was competent and could take care of myself, so I’d try to make my own way without the trust. I’d get a new job, find a new place, and Maya and I would finally be free to live our own lives.
I remembered the apartments I’d mentioned to August the other day, so I drove over to them. Now was the time to implement phase two of getting my own life. I parked in the parking lot and walked into the leasing office.
“Hi, welcome to Riverside Apartments.” The thirtyish woman behind the desk smiled and stood. “How can I help you?”
“I’m interested in finding a two-bedroom apartment.” I tried to look solid and professional, but inside I was feeling giddy, and a little nauseous. Was I really doing this? Was I really moving beyond dreaming and researching my escape from August’s clutches to doing something about it?
“I happen to have two. I can show you one now, as it’s empty, but the layout is the same as the other one, which will be available next month. Do you have a time frame for moving?”
“As soon as possible.”
She went to a board where keys hung and took one down. “Well then, let’s go look at the one available
now.”
She came around the desk as the door behind me opened. “Hi, welcome to Riverside Apartments. How can I help you?”
“I’m here about an apartment.”
I whipped around at the deep baritone voice. Jude. I almost didn’t recognize him. Well, that wasn’t quite true. I’d know him anywhere. I didn’t even have to look at him to know it was him. His voice. The scent of him. All that was the same. But the Jude I’d known growing up was a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. Now, he was wearing a crisp white shirt and charcoal gray slacks. I’d never seen him in a suit and I had to admit, it looked good on him. I realized that I still thought of him as the twenty-one year old who left to join the military and never came back. The Jude in front of me was a full-grown man. His shoulders were broader, his face leaner, his eyes sharper. My heart fluttered in my chest and I had to remind it that this was the guy who abandoned me and Maya.
“I was just going to show this woman a tour of the complex and a two-bedroom apartment. You can tag along if you like,” the leasing woman said, as she took a long look at Jude too.
“I only need one room,” he said, looking at me in an expression I couldn’t read. Had the two-bedroom comment given Maya away? No, I tossed that idea aside. He didn’t remember or care that I’d been pregnant. So more likely he was just surprised to run into me again. Surprised, but not in a good way if the impassive expression on his face was an indication.
“I’ll grab a key to one of our one-bedroom units too.” She went back to her board of keys, grabbing another one. “Shall we go?” She dangled the keys from her fingers as she walked past me with her gaze on Jude. “We’ve got many amenities like a gym. You look like you work out,” she said to him.
He nodded. “Yes. Is there a pool too? I swim as well.”
“Yes, we do. It has a hot tub, and we have a sauna too.”
I rolled my eyes as I realized she was wanting to get hot and sweaty with Jude. Of course, who could blame her. I wondered if I should tell her that he was good at hot and sweaty, but not to expect him to be there if she ever needed him.
“We also have a little playground if you have children.” She looked at me, but I didn’t respond. Jude didn’t say anything about it either, which proved that he’d forgotten he had a kid or didn’t care.
We followed her out of the leasing office and down walkway toward the end of the building. As we walked, she chatted about what was included and not included in the rent, but I wasn’t able to take it in. I was preoccupied by the fact that Jude was here. What were the odds that I’d run into him again? It was like God was playing a cruel joke on me. Maybe it was a sign that this was a bad idea.
But I couldn’t back out now. I’d see the apartment but not make any decision until I knew where Jude would end up. I needed to get out from under August’s control, but I didn’t want to do it in a place that Jude would be around. Whatever place I found for me and Maya needed to be away from them both.
7
Jude