Eight Long Years (Heart of Hope 5)

She collapsed on me, and I wrapped my arms around her, intending to never let her go. Emotions rushed back, swamping me, drowning me. This was how we were supposed to be. I thought I’d gotten over her, and while being back, I’d realized that hadn’t been true, laying here like this, I knew I’d always feel for her. My heart would long to love her. My body would long to join with her. And if that wasn’t going to be, then my life would be filled with an emptiness.

I turned us to our sides, so I could keep her close to me. I watched her, as her breath returned to steady. I pushed a loose tendril of hair out of her face, cursing myself for not releasing her hair so I could run my fingers through it. Then I ran my hand down her body, taking in the softness and warmth of her curves.

I wanted to tell her everything rolling around in my heart, but was afraid to do so. I knew I couldn’t handle her telling me again that she didn’t love me. So, I kept my feelings to myself.

Her hazel eyes opened, glowing with a sated shade of green that was so beautiful, I felt another swell of emotion. She gave me a sweet smile, and for a split second, I wondered if maybe all that we’d planned eight years ago could still come to fruition. And then her smile faltered. Her eyes widened and she stiffened in my arms.

Before I could react, she was out of my embrace, out of the bed, and picking up her clothes.

“What are you doing?” I couldn’t keep up with the change. What happened?

“It was a lovely evening, but I need to go.” She shoved one and then the other arm into the sleeves of her blouse, not bothering with her bra.

“What’s the rush?” I was sure she enjoyed the sex. She came twice. And now she was off like it never happened. I’d never had any complaints before, but I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe it wasn’t satisfactory for her. If she stayed, I’d do my damnedest to change that.

“I just don’t want to linger.” She shoved her bra into her coat pocket. “It was fun. Like old times, but you’re my boss now, Jude, this isn’t wise.”

Fucking A. I sat up running my hands through my hair. I damn near fired her right then and there.

“We can’t do this again,” she continued, slipping her feet into her heels.

“One night. Give me just one night.” Maybe if it did it right, I could parlay one night into two, and then a week, and then…

She pushed her hair back, and looked around the floor like she was making sure she’d gathered all her belongings. “I can’t. This was a one-time thing. We can’t repeat it.” She stopped and looked at me. For a moment, I thought maybe she was going to change her mind, and in the next minute, she was heading out the door.

“Fuck!” I fell back on the mattress as all my hopes and dreams died. Seriously. Cupid hated my guts. One minute I was riding the high of great sex with the only woman I’d ever loved, and then next minute she was gone. Like what just happened was nothing.

The memory of her letter came back to me. The one in which she’d said she’d moved on. That she didn’t love me. What a fucking idiot I was. I’d spent the last eight years pining for her and what we’d planned. April? She’d put me in the rearview mirror eight years ago. I was a fun fuck from the past, but that was it.

I got out of bed and disposed of the condom. I took a good look at the man in the mirror. I was good enough looking. I had a big enough dick. I was now an entrepreneur. But somehow I was lacking for her. Had August done this? Had he turned her against me?

I should be like her and just let it go. But as I studied my reflection, I wondered if now, eight years later, I could undo whatever August had done to change her heart toward me. She was clearly her own woman now. Yes, as her boss, it wasn’t wise to pursue a relationship. But the opposite of that was we’d be working together. She’d be able to see me as I was now. Competent. Stable. And still helplessly in love with her.

12

April

I half expected August to gripe at me that I owed him two week’s notice before quitting. When I didn’t see him, I suspected he thought I’d just thrown a temper tantrum and would be back at my desk. I wondered how long it would take him to notice that I wasn’t there.

Instead I was walking into Jude and his partner’s office, wondering if maybe I was making the right choice. It couldn’t be a good thing to have slept with the boss. To want to keep sleeping with the boss. I swore I could still feel his hands on me, his thick dick sliding in and out of me. The last thing I’d wanted to do was leave his bed last night. Leave the warmth of his arms. When he looked at me after we finished, for a moment, I wondered if maybe we could have what we’d planned all those years ago.

But then I remembered Maya and how he’d left us. I remembered August, and while I didn’t want him bossing me around anymore, he was my brother. Wasn’t blood thicker than water?

I pushed all that aside as I stepped into Jude’s new business a little bit early to make sure I made a good impression on his partner. The front area was clean, although stark.

A tall, muscular, good looking man entered the front area from the hall. He was dressed in a dress shirt and slacks with a tie. I recognized him as Jude’s friend.

“April, right?” he said with a warm, friendly smile as he outstretched his hand to shake mine.

“Yes.”

“Jude isn’t in yet. Would you like to sit and wait for him?”

I didn’t see any reason why I shouldn’t get right to work. “If you tell me what you need, I can get started now.”

His brows furrowed. “Started on what?”

I paused, wondering if I misunderstood Jude. No. We negotiated my salary. He offered me a job. “On being your new office manager.”