“He’s not here. Does that mean he’s shirking his responsibilities?” She arched a judgmental brow.
“No. He was angry at August and me—”
“You? You didn’t do anything. You wrote to him.”
“But I didn’t say anything once he came back.” I sank down into one of the chairs at the tiny table. “I told him that he needed to meet her when he wasn’t so raw.”
She nodded. “Good point. No reason to scare the kid.” She came to sit across from me. “You know, now that everything is out in the open, maybe you and Jude have a chance. I know you’ve been telling him and me and yourself that it’s in the past, but let’s face it, you still love him. And it sounds like he still loves you.”
“If he did, he probably doesn’t anymore.” I scrapped my hands over my face. “I’ve really messed this up.”
“No, you didn’t. Life is messy, April. If anyone is to blame, it’s August. It doesn’t seem smart of him to piss off a Navy SEAL…”
I let out a small laugh. “August would probably pee his pants if Jude went full-on SEAL.”
“Listen, I’ll watch Maya. Why don’t you go talk to him? Even if it doesn’t work out, you’re going to be co-parenting. But if he forgives you, and you end up spending the night in his bed, that’s okay too. Maya and I have many cupcakes to decorate. Speaking of which, I should probably go check on her.” Petal stood.
I rose with her to follow her back.
“Hi mama.” Maya looked at me. She was wearing a chef’s coat that swallowed her up and she had a streak of icing on her cheek. It was so adorable, and I could feel the tears coming again that Jude was missing this. He had missed so much of Maya’s life. Before I’d blamed him for that since he ignored my letter, but now I knew different. Now I knew August had taken that from him.
“Hey baby. Are you helping Petal?”
“Yep. Look at all these I did.” She waved her hand over a line of cupcakes.
“Do you mind sticking around and helping me more?” Petal asked Maya.
“Can I mama?”
Petal gave me a look that said I needed to go and talk some more with Jude. She was right although I wasn’t sure what I could say.
“You didn’t betray him, April. He’ll calm down and realize that.”
I shook my head. “He probably never wants to see me again.” Maybe I needed to spend the weekend looking for a new job.
Petal put her hands on my shoulders and gave me a shake. “You’re a strong, beautiful woman. You can do this. For you. For him. And for this sweet munchkin.”
“What are you talking about?” Maya asked.
“Boring stuff,” Petal said. She turned to me. “Here, bring him these.” She handed me a box. “It has half a dozen limoncello cupcakes.”
I smiled remembering how much Jude liked her lemon bars. “Thank you. Really Petal. You’re a saint.”
“My wings are under my chef’s coat.” She winked. “Go get ‘em, April.”
I didn’t have her confidence that Jude would come around, but she was right in that we needed to talk and sort things out.
I started toward my car to go to his hotel, but then I remembered he was planning to rent an apartment. Several boxes of household wares had shown up at the office this week. Since the apartment was close by, I decided to walk. As I did, I practiced what I’d say. Or I tried. I didn’t know what to tell him that hadn’t already been said. I stopped mid-stride and realized rehashing what August had done and what we lost wasn’t the answer.
I turned and went back to my car. I drove home, hoping beyond hope that August was working as he did most weekends. His car was gone, thankfully, so I went into the house and gathered up a variety of items, putting them in a bag.
Then I drove back to the apartment complex hoping Jude was in the one-bedroom we’d seen during the tour.
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. When he opened it, his expression was so raw and in pain it made my heart weep. I’d been sad and angry when I thought he’d simply abandoned me, but at least I had Maya. He was cruelly abused by my brother, and had no one.
He looked at me and without a word opened the door. I stepped inside, and noted the single couch and chair in the living room. I walked in, and sat on the couch, putting my bag on the floor beside me.
He looked completely wrought as he paced. “Say your peace.”