I didn’t want Maya to leave. As I looked over at April, I realized I didn’t want either of them to leave.
“We should talk,” I whispered.
She studied me for a moment, but then nodded. “Okay. Do you have a blanket so Maya can sleep on the couch?”
Surely, I had a blanket. I found one and brought it to April who’d maneuvered Maya to lay down and covered her.
I went to the kitchen and poured two glasses of wine. I handed one to April when she joined me.
“She’s a wonderful kid, April. You’ve done a great job.”
She gave me a wan smile. “Thank you.”
“You thought I’d abandoned you but you never told her that?”
“No. And I forbade August to talk about you with her or in front of her. I didn’t want her to have negative ideas of you.”
I looked down. “Why would August do this, April.” I lifted my gaze to her, my heart feeling completely gutted. “What did I do to deserve what he did?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess he felt betrayed since you were his friend. But also, he was under extreme pressure when my parents died—”
“And that gave him the right to take my child?”
“No. It’s no excuse. I’m just saying he wasn’t the same. He felt responsible for me—”
“And I wasn’t good enough for you.”
She shrugged. “You’re right that he controlled me, but not anymore, Jude. I won’t let him do anything to keep you and Maya apart.”
“What about you and me?”
Her eyes widened in surprise.
“Except when you’re letting me touch you, you’ve been clear that you don’t think there is a future for us. But I’m here now, so whether you care for me or not, we need to raise Maya together.”
“Do you think there’s a future for us?”
I drank my wine feeling a little annoyed by her question. “I’ve been fairly clear about what I want, April.”
She looked down into her untouched glass of wine. “I thought maybe your feelings had changed after all this.”
“I won’t deny that I’m angry and hurt, mostly at August, but some at you too. But I’m able to see your point of view. Unless your efforts to thwart my advances was to hide Maya—”
She looked up at me, and I saw that for a time that was true. Pain lanced my heart again.
“I see. So, I wasn’t ever supposed to know.” I turned away, putting my glass in the sink.
“Jude, I thought you didn’t care about me or the baby for so long. When you came back, you were the same person that I’d loved before, but I couldn’t get passed that you’d just left me knowing I was pregnant—”
“I didn’t know,” I seethed.
“I know that now. I didn’t before. So, I was torn. I wanted you, but I kept coming back to how you left me pregnant. And then you never asked about it, and yes, maybe I should have considered that you didn’t know, but I didn’t.”
“What about now?”
“What about now? I hurt you. You’ve got Maya to consider now. I can see that she is first and foremost in your mind, as she should be.”
I gritted my teeth as I looked out to the living area where Maya slept on my couch. Then I turned to April. “From the moment I returned, I’ve been wanting to know if we could have the dream that we’d planned. That hasn’t changed, April.” The truth was, Maya made my need to find out if April and I had a future even more pressing.