left so that I could become the man she needed and deserved. I did it even though it gutted me. But I wanted your blessing too, August.” Jude shook his head. “Instead, you lied. You stole seven years of time with my daughter. Were you always like that?”
August flinched. “Like what?”
“Selfish and cruel? I didn’t see it when we were friends before, but maybe it was always there.”
August poked himself in the chest. “I did what I had to do to protect April.”
“The idea that you think you had to protect her from me, the guy you said was your best friend, suggests I was never really your friend.”
“Well you weren’t, were you? You were taking advantage of my sister.” August moved closer, getting into Jude’s space. To my mind that was dumb. August was a grown man, but Jude was a former SEAL.
“August.” I put my hand on his chest, and gently moved him back. “Jude didn’t take advantage of me. I seduced him.”
August kept his eyes on Jude. “You were young—”
“I was eighteen and knew what I was doing. And Jude tried to stop me.”
“Not very hard,” August quipped.
“No. Not very hard,” Jude agreed. “The truth is, August, I had been attracted to April by then and I tried to deny it because she was your sister, but I couldn’t. I loved her. I loved you and your family. I wanted to make a family with her, and you ruined it. You keep trying to make it sordid. Tell me, August, is Maya sordid, because she’s the result of my love for your sister.”
August jerked back. “Maya is innocent.”
“Maya is my child. The child I made while loving April.”
August’s jaw tightened and he turned away.
“I’m sorry that I betrayed your friendship, August, but I’m going to fight for my family. April will have to make her own decision about me, but I’ll fight for Maya and I know you think you can hurt me and make me leave, but I’m not that kid I was eight years ago. You’ll destroy us both if you try to ruin me.”
My heart was aching that I was the cause of so much pain for August and Jude. I was concerned that Jude still didn’t realize I was choosing him now.
“Or,” Jude continued. “Instead of seeing this as losing a sister and being alone, you could have and still can see it as gaining a brother or a friend. I was never going to take April from you. I was hoping to join your family.”
I looked at Jude, realizing I’d missed that point as well. Jude’s own family was dysfunctional which was probably why he was over at our house so much back when he and August were friends.
“We all need each other, August,” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. “All of us are a family now, whether you want to still be a jerk about it or not. But imagine how much better it would be if you could let go of all this bitterness. If not for me or Jude, how about for Maya. Because despite the fact that we’re all not worthy, she loves us all to death. She deserves for us to be better. Do better.”
August scrapped his hands over his face. “I was trying to look out for you and Maya.”
“I know. And you did, August. You made some hurtful choices—”
“I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to lose you. Not you too.” August’s expression begged for me to understand his fear of losing me and Maya, after the loss of our parents. Then he turned to look at Jude.
Jude inhaled a breath and exhaled. “I’m sorry for betraying you, August. But I love April. I wish you could see that.”
I moved in front of August. “I love you, August. I really do. But you can’t make me choose between you and Jude. If you do—”
“I’ll lose.” He looked down for a moment. He took a breath and then returned his attention to Jude. “You hurt her or Maya, and I’ll destroy you.” He turned away and I got the feeling he wasn’t just giving in, he was giving up. He was planning to withdraw from us all. I suppose that reflex ran in the family as I’d tried it with Jude.
“August.” My heart screamed out. Why couldn’t we all get past this and be a family?
“August,” Jude barked. “Don’t be a martyr.”
August jerked and looked back.
“Do you hear what we’re saying? Or do you hate me so much that we can’t make this work for all of us?” Jude asked.
“Daddy, is it time to put the pizza in?” Maya said quietly from the kitchen. I hated that she was having to hear all this.