I headed down the hall to his office. The door was open and I looked in.
He was reading over papers. His coat and tie were off. His sleeves were rolled up to reveal strong forearms. His hair was slightly disheveled as if he’d been running his fingers through it.
His gaze jerked up. “Petal.”
I smiled and stepped in, using all my strength to keep from rushing to him and holding him and willing all his pain away.
“I saved you all the chocolate peanut butter cupcakes.” I held up the box.
His dark eyes watched me. I couldn’t read him. Was he annoyed that I was here?
He mustered a smile. “Great. Thank you.” He stood and gestured for me to take a seat. “I’m sorry I haven’t called.”
I waved his comment away. “I know you have a lot
on your plate.” I set the box on his desk but didn’t sit.
“I hurt your feelings.”
Did my voice give that away? What could I say that let him know I was bothered that he hadn’t called without my being obnoxious?
“I know we’re not in a relationship, but we did say we were friends. When you were calling me, I…liked that. I liked hearing your voice—” I realized I was being selfish again. “But I know that you have more important things than to maintain our friendship.”
He leaned against his desk. “You were helpful to me when I called. I appreciate all your support.”
It sounded like a “but” was about to come.
He looked down and the utter defeat I saw in this big, strong man broke my heart.
“Cy.” I stepped up to him and cradled his face. “I know this is hard. You’re not alone. If you need to talk or just sit with someone, I’m here for you. I know we complicated things a bit before, but I promise you, I just want to be your friend. I want to be here for you and help you.”
His dark eyes met mine. “There’s just one problem with that.”
Pain speared again that he was about to reject me. I started to lower my hands but his fingers wrapped around my wrists.
“What?” I managed to say.
“I still want to touch you. You haunt my dreams every fucking night.”
I gasped, not expecting that. When I realized what he was saying, arousal flooded my body. “You can touch me, Cyrus.”
His eyes closed. “You’re supposed to tell me no. I can’t give you what you deserve, Petal.”
“You need to stop giving me an option if I’m supposed to say no.”
His lips twitched upward.
I stepped closer to him. “I’m here for you, Cy. However you need me. Let me make you feel good, even if it’s just at this moment.”
I ran my hands over his chest. When he didn’t do anything, I took his hands and pressed them on my breasts. “Touch me.”
He let out a groan and pulled me to him, his lips plastering against mine. I could feel his frustration and anguish.
“This isn’t fair to you,” he murmured against my neck.
“That’s for me to decide,” I said, undoing the buttons of his shirt desperate to feel his warm skin over firm muscle.
“Fuck. I do need you, Petal.”