I was noncommittal.
“You will be there for Thanksgiving, right?”
“I’ll be there.” Then I turned to my customers. “Welcome to Petal’s.”
That night, I lay sated next to Cyrus wondering if I needed to tell him that Jude suspected he was getting laid and April knew it was me. I looked up at him, his long lashes lay on his cheeks as he slept. He’d be up in an hour or so, and heading home as he did the previous nights. I couldn’t get him to stay and he’d never invited me to his place. I wasn’t sure if that was on purpose or just how things worked out.
“I can hear you thinking?” he murmured. “Is everything alright?”
“Yes. Just counting cupcakes for all the thanksgiving orders.” I opted not to say anything. The truth was, it could make him skittish and withdraw and I wasn’t ready for that.
His eyes opened. “I was thinking of ordering some to take to my mother. Is it too late for that?”
I shook my head. “No. For you, I’ll get it done.”
“I can help. You just have to promise me you’ll bake them in nothing but your apron.”
“How will that help me?”
He rolled me underneath him. “I’ll make you feel good. Release tension.”
I looped my arms around his neck. “Well then, okay.”
19
Cyrus
If not for Petal, I wasn’t sure I’d be managing the terror I was feeling about my mother or be able to take care of all the things that needed to be dealt with during her treatment. That didn’t mean that I didn’t feel guilty for using Petal. She was my emotional crutch and along with her body she was able to make me feel good and take my mind off my worries even if for just
a little bit. What did she get out of this arrangement? The hell if I knew. Sure, I did my best to make sure he was having spectacular orgasms, but it didn’t seem like much compared to what I was getting from her.
When I was in Bismarck, I was helpless to think about the situation with Petal. I couldn’t consider anything except how much I wanted her. Now, on the last Friday night flight to Chicago, the guilt and worry, along with distance, had me rethinking the wisdom of my relationship with her. I was being selfish and unfair with her.
Once I landed and rented a car heading to my mother’s place, my focus moved away from Petal and to my mother.
When I pulled up to the house, Lora’s car was in the driveway. What a Godsend she’d been. I parked, grabbed my bag and headed in.
“We’re back here, Cy,” Lora’s voice called.
I headed up the hall, dropping my bag by my room, and then made my way to my mother’s room. I took a breath to steel myself at seeing her. Every time I did, she looked so frail and gaunt. But I didn’t want to react in a way that gave away my horror at how sick she appeared.
“Hey mom.” I stepped into her room. My heart dropped. My mother had always been a slight woman, but now she looked like slack skin over bones. Her eyes were dull, like the fire inside her was going out.
“Cy’s here, Jane.” Lora patted her hand and stood. “She’s a bit tired, but a fighter. Stronger than any Navy SEAL, that’s for sure.”
I forced a smile. “Damn straight.”
Lora walked past me, putting her hand on my arm. “I’ll be in the kitchen. I’ll make you some coffee.”
I nodded and went to sit in the chair next to the bed and I took her hand giving it a gentle squeeze.
“I look terrible,” she said.
“You look like a woman fighting the hard fight. I admire you, mom.”
A slight pink hue came to her cheeks. I was grateful for the sign of life in her.
“You’re the one who’s admirable. You risked your life for your country. You lost the love of your life in doing it, and now you’ve got to deal with me.”