I took a breath. When I calmed down enough to talk like a normal person, I said. “Why, Petal? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Her face seemed to relax some, but she still struggled to explain. “I…I knew you were having to take care of your mom….and…I didn’t want to complicate things for you.”
“You don’t think I can do more than one thing? That I can’t manage stress? I was fucking a SEAL.”
She flinched. “I just didn’t want to make your life back in Chicago harder.”
“Ah, so you were going to martyr yourself. Take on the burden of a baby all on your own to spare me?”
“It’s not a burden.” It was the first sign of fire in her eyes I’d seen since walking in. “Don’t ever say that.”
Now I was the bad guy?
“And I was going to tell you,” she said.
“Oh really. When? When it was in school, like how April told Jude?”
“No. And the situation with April was different.”
“Right. So what’s your excuse?” Jesus, why couldn’t she tell me why she really didn’t want me to know about the baby?
She rubbed her hands over her face, and all of a sudden, she looked tired. But I didn’t want to be sucked into feeling sympathy. She hurt me, dammit. Never in a million years would I have thought she’d do something like this. Not Petal. And yet, the proof was standing right in front of me. How was it always I got it so wrong with women?
28
Petal
I wasn’t prepared mentally for this talk. Even with the heads up from April, I couldn’t seem to get my focus on what needed to be said. He was angry, which I could understand. But my instinct was to go to him. To hold him. To have him hold me. I’d missed him so much, I now realized. But I could also see that the potential for us to be together was gone. If there was ever a chance that he’d love me, it was dead.
Still, I had to salvage something as we were going to be parents because it would be best for the baby if Cyrus and I could get along.
“Well?” he demanded. “What possible excuse could you have to keep this from me?”
Finally, the tether on my own anger broke. “I did call. Your mother answered and told me you were out to din
ner with your fiancé.”
He jerked back, surprise flashing in his wide eyes. But his brows narrowed. “So, I forfeited my rights to this baby because I wasn’t home when you called? Or are you jealous and this was how you planned to get back at me?”
“I’m not getting back at you, Cy. I accepted a long time ago that you didn’t care for me, although it does sting a bit to think you left my bed and immediately were in bed with your ex.”
The fact that he hadn’t denied it, proved it was true. I thought my heart was broken before. Now it was in a million pieces.
“You don’t know shit,” he spat.
“So, you were with me while also being with her at the same time? Were you getting back at her by cheating on her with me?” I yelled back with energy I didn’t know I had.
He gaped. “You think I’d do that?”
“You thought I would. You accused me of as much, so why not?” But I pulled back as I realized this tit for tat was irrelevant. He wanted to know why I was slow to contact him. “What is your fiancé going to say when she learns you got your friend pregnant right around the time you two reconciled? I imagine that might put a damper on your relationship. Your happily ever after was once again within your reach, and now your pregnant friend ruins everything.”
“I don’t need you making my decisions for me Petal. Especially since you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. You should have told me about the baby. I shouldn’t have had to hear about it from Jude who was wondering why I was being a deadbeat.”
I flinched. I hadn’t wanted that. “I know you don’t believe me, but I was going to tell you. I just…I was afraid. I didn’t want to cause you trouble.”
“This baby is my responsibility too, Petal. Don’t pretend you were doing me a favor, because you weren’t.” He ran his fingers through his hair and let out a growl. Then he turned to me. “I’m going to be a part of this baby’s life. You can be sure of that.”
I nodded. “I wasn’t going to keep it from you, Cy. I’d never do that.”