I sat in a chair next to Jane in her recliner. I noticed Jane Eyre sitting on the table.
“Jane Eyre. I love that story,” I said.
“Do you? Cy is reading it to me. We’re at the part where Jane is returning to Thornfield,” she said.
“I’ve always wondered what Jane would have done if she had survived the fire.”
Her eyes glittered. “Cy and I do too. I told him I’d ask Charlotte if I saw her in heaven.”
I flinched wondering if she was planning on not surviving. “I understand your treatment is going well.”
“It’s going as expected, but life isn’t guaranteed. This has helped me see that. Right now, I just want Cy to be happy. He’s not, you know.”
I looked down as I realized I was the source of his unhappiness. “I’m sorry for that.”
“It’s not your fault Petal.” She reached out and took my hand. “I wasn’t blaming you. No, I blame him.”
“He has a lot on his plate.”
She studied me for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell him about the baby?”
My hands started to shake again. I wanted her to like me because of the baby, but she apparently knew I’d not told him as soon as I should have.
“I called once, but he was out with Lora and after that…” I looked down. “I told myself that it was because he had you to worry about and Lora. They’d just reconciled and I figured my having a baby would ruin that. I want him to be happy too…I just…” I wiped a tear that started to fall. “I’m sorry. Hormones.”
“He had a right to know.”
I sniffed. “Yes. I know that. I do. And I don’t want to keep the baby from him. I’ll work out a way to make sure he’s involved. And you too.”
She watched me again, and I shifted uncomfortably from her scrutiny. “I understand why you did what you did. You know when I got pregnant with Cy, I was afraid to tell his father too. When I finally did, it didn’t go well. He’d already moved on to another woman. They got married and moved to California. He wanted nothing to do with me or Cy.”
“I didn’t know that.” As many hours as I’d spent with Cy, I hadn’t heard about his father.
“Cy never knew him. He’d have no reason to talk about him. We did just fine on our own.”
I smiled. “Yes. Cy is a wonderful man.”
She grinned. “He is, isn’t he? He’s my pride and joy, just as your child will be.”
I pressed my hand over my belly. “Yes.”
“But you’re not alone like I was. It sounds like you have your parents and friends back in North Dakota. And you have me and Cy. That you can count on us.”
I swallowed as emotion filled my chest. But then it was quelled by the idea of Lora being involved as well.
She frowned. “What’s wrong, honey? You don’t want me and Cy to help?”
“Oh no, I do. Really, I do…I just…Cy and Lora will be able to offer something I can’t. I…”
“Petal. Lora and Cy aren’t a couple. Didn’t he tell you?”
What? I shook my head. “No. He didn’t tell me.” I didn’t know what to make of that. Why would he want me to think he was engaged still? Maybe he hoped to win her back again. “I guess she didn’t take the news well.”
Jane shook her head. “Honey, they never reconciled. Cy’s been adamant that he and Lora were finished long before he came back here to help me. I’m the one that had it wrong. I was worried about leaving him alone if my treatment didn’t go well. I just wanted to know someone was looking after him and Lora seemed the obvious choice. That is, until I met you.”
I didn’t know what to make of all this, except that Cy was lying to me. I couldn’t be too mad about it considering what I’d done. He had to have a reason for wanting me to think he was with Lora. Maybe it was so I wouldn’t get any ideas about him and I being a family. If that was the case, he succeeded. The truth was, I knew from the beginning that he’d never really be mine.
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