Friends to Lovers (Heart of Hope 6)

“I just forgot to correct your assumption,” I said. Why was I feeling desperate for her to understand? She was the one who’d been withholding more important information that I did.

“Well, from what I’ve seen, you can still win her back, if you want.”

“Gee thanks Petal.” I shook my head. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I’m just saying that she’s still in love with you. I don’t think she likes that I’m having your baby, but she still loves you and wants to be with you.”

My jaw tightened. “Do you want me to take her back?”

She flinched.

“Because for the life of me, I don’t know why you’re talking about this.”

Her lips trembled and she turned away. Fuck, was she crying? Why couldn’t we talk?

“I just want you to be happy, Cy. I’m not going to try and trap you or ask you for something you don’t want to give. I know we’re just friends. You don’t need to have a fake engagement to keep me away.”

“There’s no fake engagement. I just didn’t correct your assumption. Who told you anyway?”

“Your mom asked me why I didn’t tell you about the baby and I told her about my call when she said you were out with your fiancé, and my concerns about causing you more stress or hurting your relationship with Lora. When she first told me you weren’t engaged, I felt bad that I’d ruined that for you. But then she said you never reconciled.”

I closed my eyes for a second and then was pissed at feeling guilt over that. “So, you felt justified in withholding the information about the baby because you didn’t want to make Lora mad at me?”

“No. I know you don’t believe me. I was going to tell you, I just…I don’t know.” She rested her head on the window. “I don’t know.”

It was so strange to see Petal so despondent. She’d been the woman to bring me sunshine and brightness, and now all that was gone.

“Anyway, she said you’d never reconciled. She wanted you to though.”

I nodded, but didn’t respond as I pulled in front of the airport.

“You can just let me off here,” she said when we reached the sign for her airline.

I parked and got out, getting her suitcase from the back.

“Really Cy. You don’t need to come in.”

I looked down at her, and a barrage of feelings collided in my chest. The worst of which was feeling like this moment was do or die for us. With the baby, it wasn’t like I wouldn’t see her again, and yet it felt like when she left to get on the plane, something between us would be gone forever. But I didn’t know what it meant or what I needed to do.

“I told your mom I’d ship her some more cupcakes. I’ll include some peanut butter chocolate ones.” She turned to leave.

“Petal.” Fuck. What did I need to say? What should I do?

She turned and looked back.

“Thank you for being so good to my mom.”

She smiled. “Take good care of her, Cy. The baby needs a grandma like her.” She turned away again and walked into the terminal.

I don’t know how long I stood there like an idiot before I got back in the car and drove home, knowing I hadn’t said or done the thing that would have bridged the chasm between us.

34

Petal

As the wheels lifted off the runway, I turned my head toward the window and quietly cried. The weekend had gone well, and yet I was so sad. Every time I was with Cyrus, I felt like I was walking on eggshells, worried I was going to say or do something to ruin our fragile friendship. And then I learned he didn’t correct me on my assumption about his and Lora’s engagement. No, not an assumption. His mother called Lora his fiancé. But he hadn’t straightened me out on that. Why? Did he want me to believe it?

To make matters worse, after everything, I still cared for him. I loved him. I wished I could tell him that. If I had the courage, I’d have told him everything. Like how much I looked forward to his coming in for his daily cupcake and coffee. How much I admired him even before he dedicated his life to his mother’s care. How much I loved him. I’d tell him that I wanted us to be a family with our baby. But I wasn’t brave enough. I had to settle for the fact that he didn’t seem so angry at me anymore.