The One and Only (Heart of Hope 7)

I wanted to cry with frustration. I wanted him so badly. I was still so weak for him, like a fool, like I was still a teenager. And he had just—was he going to cheat on his fiancée now? Was he truly nothing like the good-hearted boy I’d once thought that he was?

“That—fuck.” Cade shook his head. “That was a mistake, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I was overcome by the moment, by the memories. I shouldn’t have done that to you.”

I had nothing to say. I was overwhelmed by my own emotions and so angry with myself, with both of us, that I didn’t know what to do. I just turned and started to walk back to the car.

Cade followed me. “I know that was unprofessional, Laura, and I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

I said nothing. How could I? My throat was tight and if I tried to speak, I knew I would start crying and then, who knew what I might let slip in the heat of the moment? Cade didn’t deserve to know just how much he’d hurt me and how much I’d missed him. He didn’t deserve to know all of that about me.

Cade carefully opened the passenger door of his car for me, so that he didn’t touch me as I got in. I could’ve smacked myself for my stupidity. How could I have let him get so close to me? How could I have lost myself in my reminiscing moment?

The drive back to my car was silent and awkward. Cade didn’t say anything and neither did I. When we pulled into the parking lot, I finally figured out what it was that I had wanted to say. I had my emotions wrestled under control just enough to say it without bursting into tears.

“I appreciate your apology,” I took a deep breath and kept my gaze fixed on the front windshield rather than looking at Cade. “But you have to promise me that it was just a momentary lapse.”

I saw Cade nodding from the corner of my eye. It wasn’t a verbal promise, but I supposed that it was better than nothing. I got out of the car.

“Remember, we have a tuxedo fitting scheduled for tomorrow,” I said, and then I got out, walked over to my car and drove away.

When I glanced in the rearview mirror, Cade was still sitting in his car, staring through the windshield. He didn’t look at me, and I didn’t look at him. Instead, I turned away and focused on the road.

I couldn’t believe that I had let my guard down around him, and so quickly. Stupid, stupid! Now, that I was alone, I let out my tears of frustration and cried a little. Nobody was around to see me. I had fallen back into Cade’s arms and his charm so fast that it might as well have been ten years ago all over again. I was ashamed of myself.

You have to do better, I told myself. And I would. Cade wasn’t going to sweep me off my feet again and catch me off my guard, no way.

9

Cade

I couldn’t believe that I’d been such an idiot. How could I have done that to Laura? How could I have, even for a moment, cheated on Della?

Sure, Della wasn’t in love with me, we were both aware of that. She knew that I wasn’t in love with her, either. But that didn’t change the promises I’d made, and the last thing I wanted to do was humiliate the poor girl. And Laura…she didn’t know the truth. I could’ve put her in a horrible situation. Not to mention an unprofessional one.

I was such a fucking idiot. I could smack myself, I could…. Why was there another car in the driveway at the lake house?

I pulled up, wondering who it could be. Was Mom having visitors over? I hoped not. I wasn’t really in the mood for making nice with strangers.

When I entered the house, I found that it wasn’t a group of strangers. It was Dad. With Della.

“Dad?” I blurted out. “What are you doing here?”

Della looked a bit embarrassed as Dad got up and walked over to me, smiling. “Congress called recess so I’m here for a break. I brought Della along so she can help with the wedding planning.” He lowered his voice, “And you don’t have to worry about all that nonsense if you don’t want to.”

“No, I do want to,” I said firmly.

“Besides!” Dad raised his voice again, ignoring me. “I’m sure the lovebirds want to spend some time together.”

I forced a smile and hoped that it didn’t look as uncomfortable as I felt. Della looked away, her face going pink. Even if we had been in love, I wouldn’t have liked my dad talking like that, embarrassing Della. But as neither of us were in love with each other, the discomfort reached a whole new level of awkwardness and frustration.

“I’ll let you two catch up,” Della said, standing. She offered a small, cordial smile. “I’m going to find Melinda and see about helping her make dinner.”

Mom hadn’t cooked a day in her life, but I wasn’t going to tell Della that. Not right now when she was using it as an excuse to escape than anything else, and certainly not in front of Dad. Della vanished, and I held in a sigh of relief.

Mom and Dad might think that the two of us were a perfect match, but I knew that Della had her doubts too. We had only kissed once or twice when we’d first started dating, to see if there was any spark, even though we’d both known from the first date that we weren’t meant for each other. We’d been introduced at a party by our parents, and we’d been able to clearly see the hints in the faces of our fathers—they had thought that we’d make a good match. When I got home from the party, Dad had been really blunt, saying I’d be a fool not to marry that girl, that I did not understand the opportunity before me, and she was so beautiful and charming....

I’d asked Della out just to get our folks off of our backs, and I’d known that she knew, that we weren’t meant to be. But my parents had been so happy, and Della hadn’t objected so we just…kept dating. Without any passion or romance. It had helped that most of the time, we were going to political and social events as each other’s plus one and could lose each other in a crowd or team up to schmooze together. She was more of an ally than a girlfriend to me.

No offense to Della, but I wanted someone with fire, someone who made me laugh and teased me. Della was so serious all the time. She reminded me of a beautiful white lily, delicate and lovely and elegant, and there wasn’t anything wrong with that. It just wasn’t for me.