Laura looked genuinely surprised, and she paused. “Aren’t you going back to D.C.?”
“I could…hang around town for a bit, maybe. If I had a good reason to.” I smiled at her and stood up, ready to pull her back into my arms, but Laura took a step away from me.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” She gave me a smile, one that was tinged with sadness. “I’m glad that we were able to reconnect, but I’ve got to go.” She kissed me on the cheek. “I hope you find a way to be happy without letting your parents dictate everything in your life. You deserve it.”
She let herself out.
I stared after her, then fell back against the mattress, confused and disappointed. My stomach twisted into knots and my heart ached.
What had gone wrong?
18
Laura
I’d been trying to forget my night with Cade for an entire week.
He haunted my thoughts more now than before. I’d hoped that sleeping with him now, as consenting adults who knew the circumstances, would get him out of my system. That I would be able to forget him after the final hurrah. If we’d never slept together and had just left it at flirting and the impromptu make-outs, I might have spent time wondering about what might have been and pining over him. But now I knew, and the sex had been amazing, and it was time to move on, so why couldn’t I?
The same reason you never seriously dated anyone else for nearly a decade, the voice in the back of my head replied.
I had tried to shove that voice aside all week. I tried to shove away all thoughts of Cade, all week. I didn’t want to think about him. I didn’t want him to haunt me again. I was supposed to be over him, supposed to be moving on.
Besides, I was sure that he’d already moved on. He must be back in D.C. by now, with all the other movers and shakers, doing his thing. Whatever his “thing” might be now that he had stood up to his parents. I hoped that he would stand up to them about his career now that his marriage had been called off. I wanted him to get out of my head and out of my heart, but that didn’t mean that I wanted him to be miserable.
Once upon a time, I had wanted that. Back when I’d been young and angry, nursing my broken heart, with a baby on the way. I had wanted him to suffer. But he had been just a kid back then, the same as me. While I couldn’t forgive him for it, I didn’t want him to suffer for the rest of his life because of it.
Caitlyn stopped by the house with a big smile on her face. “Hey! You still moping?”
I let her in and rolled my eyes. “I’m not moping.”
“Look, I get it. You lost out on a really amazing opportunity. You have every reason to be upset about it,” she said, waltzing into the house. “But you can’t let it keep you down for too long. There will be other opportunities. And from what you’ve told me, I think you impressed these people even if the wedding was called off. I’m sure they’ll recommend you to others.”
I had to admit that the cancellation was a problem for my business. Well, not a problem as much as a…disappointment. But I almost didn’t feel it. I couldn’t concentrate on it. All my thoughts were focused on Cade, no matter how much I tried to avoid him. In bed at night, I dreamed of his hands on my body, his cock inside of me, his warm words and hot kisses.
Not that I could let Caitlyn know that. Cade was gone and I had to get over him. I had to move on with my life, finally. I’d had that final, sweet taste of him and now I could go on about my life. Right?
“Thanks, hon,” I said because I knew that Caitlyn was only trying to help, and she certainly didn’t know the truth. Therefore, she couldn’t know the reason why I was so…mopey.
Not that I was moping. That would mean that I was pining after Cade, which I wasn’t. I was better than that. I was moving on from him.
If I told myself this enough number of times it would become true, right?
“I have an idea,” Caitlyn said. “Where’s Drew? I think we should go to the park. The weather’s perfect for it. Unless he has homework.”
“No, no, he’s good. A park sounds great, actually.” Fresh air and sunshine, playing with my son…it would take my mind off of Cade.
“Park?” Drew ran in, hearing the tail end of my sentence, his arms sticking straight out to the sides as he tilted this way and that, imitating an airplane. “Can we go outside?”
I laughed. “We certainly can. How about we go to the lake? The breeze on the lakefront will be nice on this warm day.”
Caitlyn waved her ever-present camera. “You know I’m always up for some nature.”
I got Drew ready—put some sunblock on him and packed a snack for all of us before we headed out. I was really looking forward to this. It was going to be nice—my best friend and my son—this little family that I’d made for myself. I didn’t need a man. I didn’t need Cade.
My chest felt hollow anyway.
I drove the way to the lake on autopilot, and so it wasn’t until I was making the turn into the parking lot that I realized where we were—Abbot Park.