Her breath hitched. “Oh god.”
That was all I needed to know the truth. All the air left my lungs. My heart felt like it had been buried under a ten-ton boulder. “What the fuck, Sinclair?”
“Wyatt, I was going to tell you.”
“When.” Jesus, I couldn’t breathe.
“Tonight.”
Raw emotions of anger and pain coursed hard through my blood. “Because you couldn’t be bothered ten years ago?”
“You were gone when I found out.” She reached out to touch me, but I jerked away. “I tried to find out. I asked Ryder to help, but we-”
“Ryder knows?”
Her face was filled with apology but I didn’t buy it. “He’s the only one. And only because I was trying to find you so I could tell you. We tried for a long time, but we never did find you.”
Okay, so maybe it was my fault I didn’t know about being a father for the last ten years, but what about now?
“I’ve been back for some time, Sinclair. Hell, we’re married and you’re living in my house, and you still didn’t think I should know?” I leaned closer to her. “You think I’m not dad material or you just didn’t want to share?”
“Wyatt.” Tears fell down her face, but I wasn’t swayed by them. She was only upset because I’d found out. “I know I messed this up.”
“You sure as fuck did.” I leaned closer to her. “You’re the one that has always wanted to tell the truth. You insisted Ryder should know about us ten years ago. We had to tell our families the truth about this fake marriage. But me knowing about my own child…for some reason that was okay to withhold.”
She looked completely deflated. Good. That’s how I felt too.
“Tell me, why didn't I deserve to know?” I demanded.
“You did. I was just afraid-”
“Afraid? Of me?”
“Afraid that if this thing with Stark didn’t go our way that you’ll leave again, and I didn’t want Alyssa to have to go through that.”
I stared at her, my heart ripping into a million pieces. My eyes were hot and filled with tears. “What the fuck kind of man do you think I am? Jesus. You think I?
??d leave?”
“You did before.”
“Jesus, Sinclair. I was eighteen years old and scared shitless that my dad was going to send me to jail.” I shook my head, realizing the woman I thought I knew, who I was ready to give myself over to heart and soul, was a stranger. “I asked you today if I could adopt her. Adopt her! And you didn’t say a word.”
“I didn’t want to do it there. I wanted the right time.”
I laughed derisively. “You’re lying. You had plenty of time. Down by the river, shortly after I got back. The day you moved into my place. During our fake honeymoon. You had plenty of time, Sinclair.” I walked away, feeling overwhelmed by emotion.
“Wyatt, I’m sorry. I just wanted to do what was best for Alyssa.”
I whirled around. “Do you hear yourself? By saying that, you’re suggesting there’s something wrong with me. That something about me is not best for her.” I strode to her, wanting to look into her eyes. “What’s wrong with me?”
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Wyatt. I’ve been warring with myself-”
“You’re selfish, that’s what you are.”
“Mama, Wyatt, supper’s ready.” Alyssa called from the side door off the kitchen porch.
“Fuck.” I ran my fingers through my hair. Then I turned to Sinclair. “Tell her.”