“She betrayed me.”
“You need to forgive her. You’re quite the hypocrite if you want everyone to forgive you for abandoning her, but you won’t forgive her for this.”
I shook my head. “It’s not the same.”
“You’re a fucking bastard, Wyatt. You left her pregnant and alone, and yet she still married you. She helped you with your farm. Jesus, you betrayed me. You fucked my sister. Knocked her up. Do you see me holding a grudge? No. Because she told me she loved you and you loved her. Was that a lie or were you just using her to get your rocks off?”
“No.” Why was I becoming the bad guy in this scenario? “I wanted to marry her.”
“Right, so you left without a word. That doesn’t sound like love to me.” He shook his head dismissively and moved off to take an order from someone at the other end of the bar.
When he came back, he said, “I forgave you for fucking my sister because I cared for you both and that was more important to me than some bro’ code. I forgave you for knocking her up because Alyssa is a great kid. We all forgave you for leaving without a word because we understood about your dad. You fucked up several times, Wyatt, and yet we forgave you. But you can’t find it inside you to forgive Sinclair? Yes, it was wrong, but she was thinking of Alyssa.”
Her betrayal felt too big.
He leaned toward me over the bar. “Consider this: When Mayor Valentine leaves office and is free to pursue Sinclair, are you going to be okay with that? With him touching her? Making more babies with her? Him being Alyssa’s step-father?”
“You’re a prick.” Jesus, the image of that burned the back of my eyes.
“I’ll take that as a no. And if that’s the case, why are you here being a whiner when you could be making up with your wife and being the husband and father you should be?”
I sat staring at my empty shot glasses.
“Do you love her, man?” Ryder asked, taking the glasses away and giving me a bottle of water.
I dug the heels of my hands into my eye sockets. That was the worst thing about all this. I was angry and hurt, but I loved her. God help me, I love her so much.
“Yes.”
“Then what are you doing here?”
“I’ve been cruel to her. She probably won’t forgive me.”
Ryder rolled his eyes. “Jesus, you pussy. She loves you. She knows she fucked up. If you forgive her, you’ll be one happy family again.”
I nodded and pulled out my wallet to pay.
“On the house. You make things right with my sister.”
“Thanks, man.” I slid off the barstool and shoved my wallet back in my pocket. I gave him a nod and headed toward the door.
“Wyatt.”
“Hmm?” I looked over my shoulder at him.
“Name your next kid after me.”
“That will be up to Sinclair.” I gave him a nod again and then strode out into the night air. I sucked in a breath, working to clear my head. I knew Ryder was right. I was a hypocrite
if I expected her forgiveness for leaving how I did, but didn’t forgive her. My action was what started all this. My leaving was the first step in my not knowing about Alyssa.
I wouldn’t have left if I knew about the baby, but because she couldn’t find me, she couldn’t tell me. It was my fault I missed all those years. Alyssa forgave me for that in an instant. Perhaps I needed to learn from her.
I knew from war that life was too short not to savor every moment. And what had I done? I’d lost another two weeks because I was bitter and resentful. If I could let that go, would we finally have the real family I’d been working so hard to have? Or would my recent behavior make Sinclair resistant to me again?
I supposed there was only one way to find out. I climbed into my truck and headed out along the highway toward Sinclair’s parents’ house.
As I pulled into the drive, I had this feeling like my entire future was riding on this moment. If I didn’t do this right, I could lose everything. I looked toward the back of the property at the oak tree where we’d made plans. Hell, we’d probably made Alyssa there.