I wanted him to mean forever, but I supposed he just meant during our fake marriage.
When he left the room, I sank onto the bed to catch my breath and get my mind in order. I was playing with fire, and couldn’t help but feel I was going to get burned.
I pulled myself together and we had a lovely evening with Alyssa showing off the riding clothes Wyatt and his mother had gotten her, the new cowboy boots, and later playing Uno. That night, I went to tuck Alyssa into bed.
“Mama, why is your bed in here? Don’t married people have their own room?”
“Ah…yes, but I didn’t want you to be afraid.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not a baby.”
I smiled but felt sad at the child I was losing to the young lady she was becoming. “Of course not.”
“Wyatt said he’d teach me to ride tomorrow.”
“He has a ranch to run, so you’ll probably need to wait until he has time for that.” I pulled her blankets up, tucking them under her chin.
“Are those mean men going to take Wyatt’s ranch?”
“Not if we can help it, baby.” I kissed her head.
“Tell him I’m on his side.”
I smiled. “I will.”
Later, Wyatt lay in bed staring up at the ceiling when I leaned against the door jamb of his room. He looked over at me and quirked a brow.
“Lost?”
“She says she’s not a baby and doesn’t need me with her. I don’t have a place to sleep.”
He rolled over to his side. “Does one need to be a baby to have you stay with them?” He patted the mattress. “Because I have room.”
I sauntered in, closing the door behind me. I dropped my robe and climbed into bed with him, letting him pull me close. In moments, we were naked and he was sliding inside me again. I told myself this wasn’t sordid. We were married. Plenty of married people with children had sex.
He was slow and thorough. It was a summer storm rolling through my body when I finally came. Then he pulled me close and held me there. This would have been a good time to tell him except it was late and I wasn’t ready to break the bubble of living my dream just yet. Instead, I settled in next to him and let sleep come.
The next morning, I found Wyatt and Alyssa in the kitchen making a mess, although she said it was pancakes. Peggy sat at the table with the paper, shaking her head and laughing at the two of them.
“Good morning.” I looked at my watch. It was just past seven. “It’s early so why do I feel like I slept in?”
“Ranch life starts before the sun,” Peggy said.
I went over to Wyatt and Alyssa, looking over their shoulders at the bowl of batter, most of which appeared to be splattered on the wall.
“Good morning.” Wyatt kissed me on the temple.
Alyssa giggled at that. “Focus, Wyatt.”
“Go away, Sinclair, you’re distracting me,” Wyatt said.
“Sorry.” I went over and sat with Peggy to watch the spectacle. Peggy’s eyes held emotion as she watched Wyatt with Alyssa. It reminded me that Wyatt wasn’t the only person missing out by my secret. She was too. And I supposed Alyssa as well.
I swallowed the bile that roiled in my belly as I realized I was deceiving everyone in this room. Everyone in my life, really, except Ryder.
I pushed it away and forced a smile as Wyatt and Alyssa brought over a platter of pancakes and bacon.
“Wyatt says I have to have a hearty breakfast to learn to ride,” Alyssa said as she stuffed her mouth with bacon.