Being a man, one would think the thing that would be foremost in my mind as I headed home was how I’d just had sex with Sinclair on her desk. In the mayor’s office. And while that was wonderful, what was really hanging over me was her response to my asking about adopting Alyssa. I couldn’t read her. One thing was clear; she wasn’t thrilled about the idea and that hurt. Still, she hadn’t completely nixed the idea either.
I told myself that she had to think about Alyssa and what she’d want. Would Alyssa want me to be her father? Was the father out there somewhere and they were both waiting for him to come back? I’d never heard anyone talk about who the father was when I was around townsfolk, although I never asked. Perhaps it was because I didn’t want to know.
I arrived at Sinclair’s parents’ house to pick up Alyssa. She chatted the whole way home about this and that. She had me smiling and laughing. I wondered if life had ever been this free and easy for me. Maybe when I was with Ryder and we were off getting into mischief as boys.
I watched as Alyssa tacked up her horse, checking the girth before helping her on. Then I led her to the ring for a lesson. She was learning quickly and I determined that next time, I’d saddle up with her and take her out into the pasture.
After her lesson, we headed back into the house. She ran upstairs to clean up while I went into the kitchen where my mother was making supper.
“You don’t have to cook for us all the time,” I said, putting my hand on her shoulder and looking over it to see what she was making.
“Just doing my share. You and Sinclair work so hard all day.”
I went to the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. Popping the top and tossing it in the trash, I leaned against the counter.
“I asked Sinclair if I could adopt Alyssa.”
My mother’s gaze jerked to mine. Her eyes twinkled. “You did? So, this marriage isn’t fake?”
I shrugged because while things were going well, I couldn’t say if they were real. “Whether it is or isn’t, I want to be her father. Seems like a girl should have one.”
My mother’s eyes misted. “You’re such a good man, Wyatt. I’m so proud of you.”
“So, you’d be alright with that?”
“Absolutely. She fits so well with our family. She even looks like us.” She went back to stirring the sauce in her pot.
“Is that a thing where people end up looking like their dogs?”
She laughed. “No. She has a sweet temperament, enjoys the farm, and she has your coloring. Even your eyes.”
I thought about that for a moment. I supposed she did.
“You know, I remember seeing Sinclair with Alyssa not long after she was born. I’d gone to the clinic for something and she and her mother were with the baby. She was home from school and Alyssa couldn’t have been more than two or three months old. She was such a beautiful baby and I remember thinking how she had those big green eyes like you did.”
“Don’t all babies look alike?” I took a swig of my beer.
“Oh no. I remember thinking that if you and Sinclair had still been dating, I’d have been sure Alyssa was yours.”
Something shifted in my gut, but I pushed it aside.
“It bothered me some that she’d replaced you so quickly. I mean she must have met the father the first week of class.”
That uneasy feeling flared again. “Why would you say that?”
“Because Alyssa was born right at the end of the school year. If she wasn’t pregnant when she first went to college, she had to have been soon after.”
Everything inside me went still. If she wasn’t pregnant when she first went to college… Could she have been pregnant before? Yes, because the first time I had sex with her, I didn’t use a condom.
I shook the idea away because surely Sinclair would have told me.
“She has your smile too. Have you noticed?” My mother grinned at me. “Are you sure you’re not the father already?” Her tone was teasing, but I didn’t find it funny. Not when there was a possibility that it was true. But no. She wouldn’t keep that from me. Would she? Shit, inside my head was a whirling dervish of confusion.
I heard a car pull up and a door shut.
“Excuse me.” I strode through the living area and out the front door, meeting Sinclair before she could come in the house. “I need to talk to you.” I took her arm and led her over to the large yard by the side of the house.
“Is everything alright?” she asked, looking up at me with a concerned expression. “Is Alyssa-”