I shook my head. “Not this time.”
“So, this marriage is real or what?” my father asked.
“Right now? It’s back to fake.”
My mother put her arm around me. “Wyatt Jones. I had no idea you and he were an item in high school.”
“It was just the summer after.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” All the decisions I’d made since finding out I was pregnant didn’t make sense to me anymore.
“How’s Alyssa taking it?” my father asked.
“She’s stoked. She was already hoping he’d be her father. He asked me about adopting her.” I burst out crying again because I couldn’t bear the guilt and shame. I’d hurt two of the most important people in my life.
“Oh, honey,” my mother pulled me close. “Maybe he’ll come around.”
I had no faith that he’d change his mind, but I was committed to our arrangement. We were now going to be co-parenting, and so we’d have to find some way to be civil.
That evening, when I got back, the house was quiet. I crept up to Alyssa’s room and checked on her.
“Mama?”
“Hey, baby, I thought you were asleep.” I went in and sat on the edge of her bed.
“Are you and Daddy mad at each other?”
“Your dad is angry for good reason. I lied to him.”
“But he’ll forgive you, right?”
I pushed her hair back, wishing I could give her the family she wanted. “I don’t think so, but that doesn’t mean you won’t have a family. He and I love you so much and that won’t change. Okay?”
“’K.”
“Did you have fun tonight with him and Miss…Grandma?” I wanted her to focus on what she gained, not what I lost.
“Yes. He told me he didn’t know about me. He says if he did, he’d have stayed. Just like you said.”
“Your dad is a good man.”
“How come you didn’t tell him when he came back?” she asked. There was no anger or pain behind it. I supposed she wondered why I’d lie when I was always telling her to tell the truth.
I sighed. “I don’t have a good reason for that except I thought it was best for you.”
“You should have told him. The truth is always best. That’s what you always tell me.”
“You’re right.” I leaned over and kissed her forehead. “You get some sleep now, baby, okay?”
“Okay.”
I left her room, turning out the light and closing the door. I stood in the hall for a moment, wondering what to do. A part of me wanted to go to Wyatt and fight for our family. Another part of me wanted to leave the house because the weight of my deception was crushing me.
I looked over at his door and saw a note. I moved closer.
“You can stay here. I’ve changed rooms.”