I love you too, I wanted to say, but couldn’t be sure she was ready to hear it.
“Have you talked to her?” she asked.
I nodded. “I saw her yesterday. Alyssa gave me some toys for the baby.”
She swallowed, and clearly felt something about that, but I couldn’t be sure of what. “That’s sweet.”
I took a deep breath. “So, if you’re not mad at me, is there any reason why I can’t kiss you?” Fingers crossed that she wouldn’t push me away, I stepped closer to her.
She looked down again. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”
I stopped a foot away. Perhaps it was time to tell her all I’d done to secure our future and fix my home so that being with me wouldn’t seem like a bad idea.
“Ah, what the hell,” she said, gripping my shirt and pulling me to her. Her lips fused to mine and all thought went out the door as I tasted her again.
I groaned, and wrapped my arms around her, wishing I could hold her there forever. Her body pressed against me. My dick had sprung to full-throttle the minute her lips were on mine, and the only thing I could think of was to get inside her now. I maneuvered her to her kitchen table, running my hands under her shirt to massage her gorgeous breasts.
In minutes, her shirt was gone, her shorts were off, and I was standing, my dick wild and free between her thighs.
“Fuck I need you,” I groaned as I rubbed my dick along her wet folds.
She moaned. “Ryder.”
I knew that voice. That was her “fuck me” voice. So, I did. I pushed my cock inside her as far as it would go, wishing it would reach her heart and make her love me back.
“Hold on, baby,” I said, leaning her back slightly so I could go deeper. I dipped my head and sucked on one hard nipple, loving how she cried out and arched up to me. Like this, she felt all mine. If only we could have this when we weren’t fucking.
I kissed my way back up her chest and along her jaw. “I missed you,” I whispered in her ear.
I started to move, wanting to go slow, but my orgasm was building fast. My dick was hard and pulsing, and I knew I wouldn’t last long.
“Tell me you’re close,” I groaned in her ear.
“Yes, yes…Oh god, harder.”
I shifted slightly, and held on to her hips so I could give her exactly what she asked for. I plunged in and out, each time the friction was so fucking awesome. How she’d think I’d want to be with another woman was beyond me. My dick was made for her.
“Come on…come on me, baby.” I was hammering away at her, teetering on the edge of oblivion. Each stroke I found it harder and harder to hold back. “Fuck, I’m coming…” I plunged in, releasing my first blast of cum.
“Yes!” she cried out, her puss
y clamping down on me until I saw stars. I pumped again and again, until my legs could barely hold me up.
When I was finally able to see straight, I cradled her face in my hands and kissed her, thoroughly, wanting her to understand what she meant to me.
I lifted my head, searching her eyes for some confirmation that maybe I meant something to her too. Before I could see it, the timer went off on her oven, effectively breaking the moment.
Reluctantly I released her. I pulled myself together and realized I really was a coward. I was too afraid to give her the words that my heart wanted to tell her.
As I zipped up my pants, I made a vow not to leave tonight without her knowing how I felt, even if it meant hearing that she still didn’t think I was a good idea.
26
Trina
What had I been thinking to let Ryder touch me again? I hadn’t been thinking, that’s what. Or maybe I had been thinking because from the first minute I saw him when I opened the door, I wanted him to touch me. But it was wrong. Well, maybe not wrong, but it definitely wasn’t a good idea. It was one thing to indulge when we were playing house during the bet, but now we were in reality. Our real lives. I couldn’t afford to pretend that he and I could have something real. Yes, we were having a baby, but if not for that, would Ryder be here? No. He wasn’t in love with me. He was here to check on me because of the baby.
But as I glanced at him as he put his clothes back together after a glorious bout of sex on my kitchen table, I wished he did love me, because I was pretty sure I loved him. I couldn’t be sure because I’d never been in love before. Sure, I’d liked a few of the men I’d dated. But this swelling longing in my heart hadn’t been there. Was that love? Was my feeling desperately wanting to beg him to stay, love?