“I know that you’re not running again, which is why I’m putting my support with Wallace. I wanted to let you know that. I know your deputy mayor is running, and while she seems quite capable, she doesn’t seem to have enough regard for the businesses—”
“Farming is a business. Big business, in Salvation.”
“Yes, of course. But it’s not the only business, and you and I both know that family farms will be almost extinct before too long.”
I wondered if his middle name was Callous. “Regardless, you can talk with Ms. Lados about getting the proper paperwork.”
He stood and left the office. I sank into my chair and took a moment, wondering how much longer this day would be.
My door opened, and Brooke came in.
“I have that report you asked for.” She was all formal and professional, which is what I wanted. The last thing I needed was for my office to get wind of my marriage. At the same time, it was like salt on a wound. I cursed my dick for having too much influence over me.
“Thank you.”
“Also, you didn’t tell Trina that Stark was coming in.”
“Didn’t I?” I couldn’t remember.
“It disrespects her when you don’t let her know things like that. She can’t do her job if you don’t keep her informed.”
Fuck, my character was quickly going down the tubes. “Thank you for letting me know. I’ll say something to her.”
Feeling like I needed air again, I rose and followed Brooke out of my office.
“Ah, Trina. Were you able to help Mr. Stark with his permit?” I asked her.
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. By the way, I’m sorry I didn’t mention his coming down. Brooke says that was disrespectful of me and undermines your work.”
She smiled, but I could tell it wasn’t sincere. “I appreciate that, sir.”
I wondered if it was Stark that had her in a mood or Brooke. I was well aware that Trina wasn’t taking to Brooke. But Trina didn’t take to many people, so
I hoped things would settle down.
“I’m going out again,” I said to her. “If you need me, I’ve got my cell phone.”
She nodded.
Fresh air wasn’t going to fix what was wrong with me and my life, but at least I could wallow in my missteps without an audience.
14
Brooke
When I imagined being married to Mo, it involved happiness and romance. But as the next week ticked by, there was none of either. At the office, Mo pawned off more and more work that kept me away from him. When he did talk to me, it was formal, almost clipped.
At home, I regularly made dinner, as it was something I was used to doing, and I found it calming. He’d eat with me, but he ate quickly. Our conversations were very surface stuff. How was your day? Wasn’t the weather nice? Every now and then, he’d make some comment about us being friends, which I knew was to remind me that we couldn’t be more than that. Or maybe he was reminding himself. It was infuriatingly frustrating to know he was into me but denying himself.
The only good that had come out of this arrangement was that my father was no longer at risk of losing the farm. I did enjoy my father’s recounting of how he told Simon Stark to shove it. And, of course, saving my father’s farm was what all this was about. Mission accomplished. I couldn’t really complain that Mo wasn’t the husband I’d wanted, because that wasn’t the plan. It had been my hope, but clearly, it had been a foolish dream. As it had always been.
Like Mo, I focused on work. He might be avoiding me, but I did the best work I could. I suppose part of my goal was to impress him. Maybe if he saw how professional and competent I was, he would stop seeing me as a girl. But also, I wanted the respect of Sinclair and even Trina, although I wasn’t going to hold my breath for her to like me. In fact, it felt like the more I did, the more Trina seemed to resent me. But I wasn’t the type of person to do substandard work to appease someone else’s feelings.
The worst part of all this was how alone I felt. I couldn’t talk to my father about all this. I wasn’t sure how he’d feel about Mo and me having a relationship. Maybe Mo was right, and my father wouldn’t like it. He’d probably be angry at Mo’s having had sex with me and then ignoring me. I was certain he’d feel guilty about partaking in this scheme if he knew I was unhappy. So, he was out as someone to confide in. I liked Sinclair, but Mo was adamant that no one in the office could know of our arrangement, so I couldn’t talk to her.
I finished on some research Sinclair assigned to me and gathered the folders I’d used to bring them back for filing. I exited my office to return them to the file cabinets.