“She likes you too, Holly.” Knowing there wasn’t anymore I could do, I kissed her head, in a friendly manner. “I’ll go. If there’s anything else I can do to help fix this for you, let me know.”
“You’ve done quite enough already.”
Her tone didn’t seem upset, but I took her words as being annoyed. I studied her for one minute as I fastened my slacks and buttoned my shirt.
“Sorry.” I shook my head and walked out the door, wondering if maybe the woman I’d met through text wasn’t her. Or wasn’t the real her. This woman was more guarded. More fearful of life. And clearly, she didn’t want me, our second bout of crazy sex notwithstanding. The woman I’d been attracted to was funny, smart, clever, outgoing. Holly looked like the picture of the woman I’d received, but she was a shell of the women who’d been texting me. I wanted to bring the texting woman out, but maybe, like many things done online or through digital means, how people act with the buffer of anonymity is different in real life. Perhaps it was time to accept that my texting-Holly was a fake persona just like this marriage.
12
Holly
The next day, I arrived at school early to avoid Tucker, which added to my guilt that I’d gotten him into all this and then was upset when he’d delivered exactly what I’d wanted. He must have thought I was a complete mental case and tease. Cripes, I jumped him and then told him again we couldn’t be more than friends. I was a complete mental case.
I wished I could be the woman he’d texted with over the summer. His fun, friendly, humorous way was clear from the get go, and I was drawn to that. Rick had really taken the sails out of me when he left. The people in Salvation were sympathetic about my being dumped at the altar, but I hated their pity. I cringed thinking that they were probably wondering what was wrong with me that a man I’d been with for so long had simply left town, left me, on the day of our wedding.
Tucker didn’t know me. He didn’t know my history. He could only take me as I presented myself. So when we texted, I’d opened up. I didn’t share my baggage, but I’d allowed myself to be free. God, I’d even sent him a picture of me when I’d finally gotten the energy to dress up and go out at Becky’s urging. Something had changed in his texts after that. Sure, we’d been flirting before, but it seemed more than flirting after that and I ate it up. As much as it bothered my feminist sensibilities, I needed him to boost my confidence. And he did. He’d wooed me just as he had Meredith.
But when he arrived in town, the freedom that came from communicating through a device in separate cities left. Now he was here in front of me. And he was only twenty-four. All of that made my new found freedom crash and burn, leaving me feeling much the same way I had when Rick left. Empty.
The day after our disastrous dinner with Meredith, I taught class and when it was time for lunch, I stayed in my classroom. I couldn’t face Tucker. I couldn’t face anyone. When they found out what I’d done, their jaws would drop. I had to figure out a way out of this that would save as much of my reputation as possible, if it was even possible.
I should have never lied in the first place. That’s where it had all gone wrong. When Meredith asked about my husband, I should have said he left me at the altar. Maybe she’d have sympathized. Who knew? Now I wouldn’t ever know. From now on I’d be the crazy lady who tried to dupe Meredith out of her money by pretending to be married to a younger man.
There was a knock at my door, and Tucker peeked his head in. God he was so handsome. And so sweet. Why he kept coming around was beyond me.
“I saw you weren’t eating so I brought you something.” He held up a tray from the cafeteria.
“I wasn’t hungry.”
He closed the door and walked over to my desk, setting the tray down in front of me. “You should eat something. There’s protein for long term energy, and a few carbs to boost it when the kids come back.”
I shook my head and smiled. How was he always so light hearted?
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. What’s really going on? Is this about last night? Because if it is, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you no when you jumped me.”
I looked up at him, and he flashed me a grin.
“Next time I will,” he said.
I shook my head. “You’re difficult to dislike, Tucker.”
He sat on the edge of my desk. “Why would you want to try?”
“No reason.” I blew out a breath. “I’m trying to figure out what to do about Mrs. Reynolds. When I tell her the truth, I’ll lose her support. But also, I might lose the support I’ve already received. She might turn the town against me.”
“First, that seems impossible. People like you Holly. They know all you’ve done for this town. The fact that you got involved in a fake marriage is proof of that.”
I shrugged. I wasn’t sure the good people of Salvation would see it that way.
“Second, I really think the solution is to carry on with the plan.”
I gaped. “It’s not possible. We can’t pretend to be married for months.”
“I disagree.” He took a breath. “If it’s about being platonic, I can do that. As much as I like having sex with you, if it’s a problem, I won’t. Even if you want me to.” His cheeky grin was half-hearted. Like he was trying to be light, but not making light of the situation. “And I’ll find a way to get Meredith out of the planning as quickly as possible. You’ve seen me. I can be persuasive. We’ll give her a few choices, make her think all decisions were hers, and then thank her and move on. Eventually, she’ll get bored or find a new pet project anyway, right? Plus, the holidays are coming, that always distracts people. The point is, we really won’t have to pretend for as long as you think. When she moves, I’ll move out back to my own place and we’ll be right here where we started.”
He made it sound so easy. Knowing him, his life was easy. Not in a financial way, but in that he was able to move through life with little resistance or disappointments. His attitude toward life was a big part of that. He truly believed that we could pull this off. But he wasn’t from Salvation. Sure, his part in the ruse might hurt him too, but this wasn’t his hometown. He hadn’t been born and raised around these people. He had a place to go back to in Chicago if this blew up in his face. I didn’t have that.