“You’re extremely helpful to her considering she kicked you out.”
I sat back. “Who told you that?”
“I have my ways. I guess I should have used those resources to vet you before I got involved with the project.”
“Holly and I may be done, but the fact remains that the library here is lacking. You can help with that.”
“What was your relationship with Holly?” she asked.
“I’m not sure that’s relevant.”
“Humor me.”
“I cared for her. Deeply.”
“And she didn’t feel the same or was she just angry about how it all turned out?”
Jesus. I could hand her knife and have her stab me and it wouldn’t hurt as much. “She didn’t feel the same.”
She nodded. “That’s too bad. You seem like a nice young man, fake marriage notwithstanding.” She stood
and I took that to mean my time was up.
“Will you think about it?” I asked.
“I’ve been talking to Mr. Stark about it already. It seems his candidate has some ideas of his own about the schools and community resources.”
Fuck. I knew it. “So, he won after all. He got us all.”
Her eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”
I gave her a “you know what I’m talking about” look. “Stark set that whole scene up to expose Holly and me so you’d abandon our project and look at his.”
“He didn’t lie to me.”
I shrugged. “That remains to be seen. Thank you for your time, Meredith. I appreciate it.” I walked out feeling like I’d wasted my time, and yet, I at least knew for sure what Stark had been after.
30
Holly
My life was the same as it had been before I met Tucker. I woke up and showered. I had breakfast and drove to work and taught all day. And that was where the sameness ended. I stopped going to the various school and committee meetings because I couldn’t face the looks of shock or pity that I’d get. But worse than that, I felt even more alone than ever before. And, while I’d always thought myself to be a good person, I truly felt like I’d failed everyone, from the children, to Meredith, to Tucker.
The hole in my chest was immeasurable. I couldn’t believe how much I missed Tucker. When Rick had left me at the altar, I’d felt shock and pain, but I realized now, it wasn’t true heart ache. The one lesson I’d learned was that all those feelings I had for Tucker were real. I love him. I loved him and I hurt him.
But even now, in all this pain, and fully recognizing my love for him, I still knew we weren’t meant to be. Even before all this craziness, I knew we couldn’t last. If I’d been honest and told him I cared for him but felt the age difference as a problem, he’d probably have dismissed it. But what if he wanted kids? I was almost too old for that. What would happen when he was thirty and I was forty-three? Or when he was forty and I was fifty-three? Would he want me still then when I was old and he was in the prime of life? My heart was crushed now, how would it feel if he left then?
So, I’d learn to live like this. I’d be the spinster. Maybe I needed to get a cat. I chastised myself for these thoughts. Even I was getting annoyed at myself.
I was home after school, cutting fruit, in uniform pieces, for a fruit salad with my microwave dinner, when there was a knock on the door. My heart still jumped with hope whenever there was a knock or my phone rang. But it was never Tucker. This time was no different when Sinclair and Trina smiled at me on the porch.
“Hey, Holly. Since you’ve been MIA we’ve brought the fun to you,” Trina said.
“Plus some campaign stuff,” Sinclair added. Then she frowned. “Something’s wrong.”
How it was possible she didn’t know, was beyond me. I had to be the center of all gossip. Plus, Tucker was friends with Brooke, who worked with both Trina and Sinclair.
“We brought wine.” Trina held up two bottles. “One for each of you. Me, I’m drinking juice these days.” I envied her to have found love and now expecting a child created from that love.