I couldn’t hold back any longer and let out a cry.
“Oh honey, what happened?” Sinclair moved to sit next to me on the couch and put an arm around me.
“He told me he cared for me and I pushed him away. And then the whole thing at Meredith’s happened and I told him to leave. It’s for the best, but it sure does hurt.”
“For the best? Why?” Trina asked, pouring me more wine.
“He’s really young, Trina. Younger than you.”
“That’s still an issue for you?” Sinclair asked.
“How could it work in the long run?” I asked.
“Mo married a woman half his age,” Trina said.
“Men can do that. When I’m fifty and wrinkled and he’s my only thirty-seven, the difference will be noticeable.”
“How old are you?” Trina asked.
“Trina!” Sinclair chastised.
“What? She can’t be that much older. You don’t look that much older.”
“She was our camp counselor, you dummy. Remember?”
“Oh yeah. I was eight. And you were what? Sixteen?”
“Eighteen,” I said.
“So you’re thirty-seven. That’s not too old. And you still look younger,” Trina said. She was a woman without a filter. From her, it felt good to hear that I wasn’t too old. But Trina was sort of a black sheep of town. Her attitudes and beliefs often differed from other people’s.
I managed a smile. “Thank you.”
“Put aside the age, for a minute,” Sinclair said. “If he was your age, would you want to be with him?”
“Yes. Absolutely. He’s perfect for me.” That’s what made this whole situation tragic. I wondered what I’d done in a previous life to deserve this situation in which the man of my dreams was one I couldn’t have.
Sinclair arched a brow. “So, the only thing wrong with him is that he’s younger than you?”
“I know that sounds bad, but I just can’t get past the idea that he’ll get bored eventually. He should be living his life. Experimenting. Dating.”
“Shouldn’t he be the one who decides all that?” Trina asked.
“Yes, except what if it’s delayed? What if I’m with him and then he decides he wants to party and play?”
“What if he’s struck by lightning,” Trina quipped.
“What Trina is so very indelicately saying is that you can’t know the future. It’s just as likely that he’ll be true forever. Or that you’ll get bored with him,” Sinclair said gently.
“I felt something similar with Ryder,” Trina admitted. “It’s no secret that I’m difficult to get along with—”
“No truer words were ever said,” Sinclair laughed.
“So, I thought at some point Ryder would get sick of me. Or some other woman would come along.”
“She also thought he was a slacker,” Sinclair added.
Trina surprised me by nodding. “Okay, yes. But that went to my need for order. His spontaneous ways are hard for me. And yet, it was exactly what I needed.”