I studied him for a moment. “Are you happy?”
His eyes widened for a moment in surprise, but then he put that smarmy smirk on his face. “Look around you, Mr. Marshall. Do I look unhappy?”
“Yes, you do.”
He seemed intrigued by my comment.
“I think you know that money and power are empty when you’re alone, and you are alone, aren’t you Stark? I look around this giant fancy, empty house and I see a lonely man with only his bitterness to keep him company. For all you say about love, I think you desperately want it. You want this town to respect you. But no amount of money or bullying will get you the love and respect you’re seeking.” I waited for a beat. “I actually pity you.”
He rose from his chair, turning his back to go to his bar and pour another drink. “Did you learn that pop psych babble from your mother?”
“You don’t need a degree in psychology to see you’re a man who wants to punish the world because he’s hurt and bitter. But speaking of psychology, you might consider therapy over destroying the lives of good people in Salvation. You could do a lot of good here Stark—”
“I am doing good,” he burst out w
hirling on me. “I’m trying to bring jobs. I’m doing a lot. They’re the ones being ungrateful.”
“You can’t impose your will on people. They don’t want a prison. They want a library. It could be so easy if you just stopped being an asshole and worked with people.”
“I’m done here.”
It was interesting to see the always polished and controlled Stark rattled.
“Okay. Well, I appreciate your time. I can show myself out.” I turned to leave. When I reached the door, I stopped and turned. “Oh, and before I forget. My threat still stands. You fuck with Holly, I’ll fuck with you. Because even though she did kick me in the balls, I still care for her and will protect her.” And with that, I walked out of his office and left his house.
As I drove back into town, I found myself intrigued by Stark. In town, he was viewed as a villain. Like a Dick Dastardly who was terrorizing their peace. When he was at the PTA, he was a caricature of the powerful, evil man manipulating the town, making them feel powerless.
But today, I saw cracks in his all-powerful façade. I wasn’t sure if he was here to hurt Salvation specifically, or if the relationship soured and now he was punishing them for rejecting him.
I was also curious to where his stance on love and what had made him so bitter toward it. Did a woman hurt him or did it go back farther? A parent’s rejection. He’d made a point of talking about my father. I hadn’t felt rejected as much as abandoned when he left my mother. But she was a strong woman who got me involved in sports and other programs where I had other male role models, and so, mostly I pitied my father for missing out on being a father.
With that said, I understood what a deep emotional wound could do to a man. If Holly showed up wanting to reconcile, I’d think twice before doing it. I was trying not to be bitter. I didn’t speak badly of her. I always gave her a polite nod if I saw her at school. But I wasn’t sure I wanted to let myself love her again only to have her squash my heart like a bug. Once was enough, thank you very much.
But I didn’t take out my hurt on Holly or others. And that’s where Stark and I differed. I wondered why? Perhaps it was a learned response. Maybe more than one person had let him down or betrayed him and now he saw the world as an untrustworthy uncaring place.
I could sympathize with that, but I still disliked the guy. And I’d still do what I could to protect my new home town from his attempts to take it over.
32
Holly
The school day was over and I was at my desk grading papers. As usual, my mind was only half on it as my life issues continued to rattle around in my brain. I avoided town, unable to face the looks and snickers that had to be happening behind my back. I grieved over the loss of the library project. And I felt such guilt at letting the community down.
But more than anything, I felt deep turmoil over Tucker. I missed him so much, and yet I couldn’t stop thinking about how this was better. Being without him was the right choice even though it felt so horribly wrong.
I’d spent sleepless nights and many awake hours reviewing what Sinclair and Trina said, but I couldn’t get past my own fears of what our age difference meant. The looks and talk from town. The possibility that he’d get bored and want to move on. No, this was how it should be.
But I did owe it to him to be honest about what happened. I’d blamed him for what happened at Meredith’s and that was wrong. He needed to know the truth.
I checked my watch. Maybe he was still in his classroom. I rose and went to his class. For a moment, I just watched him sitting at his desk, taking in his essence. He was so good. So handsome. Someday, he’d make a wonderful husband and father.
I knocked and he looked up. His brows rose in surprise, but then his expression went blank.
“Is now a bad time?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No. Come in. I don’t have that social studies project ready yet though, if that’s why you’re here.”
Of course, he’d think I was here for a curriculum issue. “No. I’m not here about that.” It occurred to me that this wasn’t the time or place for a personal chat, but since I had the guts now, I’d keep going. “I wanted to tell you something that I should have said a long time ago.”