Fake Marriage (Contemporary Romance Box Set)

His jaw tightened. “Okay.” He stood and I wondered if he was hoping to use his height and bulk to show strength. But then he leaned against the edge of his deck. His arms crossed in front of him.

I looked down for a moment as I worked to find the words. “You once asked me to be honest with you and I wasn’t. Not completely.”

His dark eyes watched me, but he didn’t say anything.

“I want to be honest with you now. With no expectations that it will change anything. I just feel bad and I owe you the truth.”

He gave a slight nod.

I stood looking at him as the words all jumbled in my brain. I laughed self-consciously. “I don’t know where to start.”

“How about when you told me it was only sex?” His tone was flat, but I could hear the undercurrent of pain. Pain that I caused. That’s why I was here.

“Yes, I need to address that, but I want to start at the beginning. If that’s okay.”

He gave a noncommittal shrug. “It’s your show.”

I looked down as my fingers nervously fiddled. “When Rick left me, I was humiliated. It wasn’t so much that he broke my heart, because I realize now that I’m not so sure I loved him like I should have. He left so publicly and I took it personally. Like there was something so wrong with me that he couldn’t even bear to marry me. He couldn’t tell me he didn’t want to get married.” I shook my head. “I’m not explaining this right. The point was, I felt empty and less than and unworthy.”

His expression softened some, but he didn’t move or say anything.

I swallowed. “I needed something to distract me from feeling like such a loser so when I was asked to be your contact over the summer before you moved here, I agreed. And texting with you…” I laughed quietly. “I started to find myself again. You were sweet and kind even though you didn’t know my story. It didn’t take long before I eagerly anticipated your text. I felt a connection to you. I was so uncertain when I sent you that picture. I wanted so much for you to like what you saw and yet, there was sort of a magic in the unknowing. Anyway, after I sent the picture, there was a shift in our flirting and while I was nervous about it, I was also excited. I never thought I’d feel like a man was interested in me and there you were.”

I gave him a moment to respond but he didn’t.

“Then one day, just before you arrived, I saw some paperwork on Principal Ambrose’s desk with your birthdate and my heart sank.”

He frowned.

“You’re so young, Tucker.”

“That’s why you rejected me?”

That was such a harsh word, but how else could he have experienced it. I nodded. “I’m so much older and—”

“So the fuck what!” He laughed derisively. “I don’t even know how old you are. I don’t care.” He shook his head. “I knew you thought I was immature.”

“No. I don’t think that at all. But you’re in a different place. You should be living and enjoying life. You should be dating and I’m in a place where I want to settle down.”

His jaw tightened. “So, the only thing I have going against me is that you think I should be sowing my oats?”

I hated how he reframed things, but he wasn’t wrong. “When I was twenty-four, my life was so different than now. You need to experience all that.”

“I see. So other than I’m too young for you, what’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing. That’s what I came to tell you. On Halloween, when you told how you felt, I was so…happy and devastated at the same time. The truth was, I cared for you too, Tucker. I really did. I just…the age thing…when I’m forty you’ll still be in your twenties.”

“So you’re a coward.”

I flinched, surprised by his accusation.

“You decimated my heart because you’re too afraid of what Meredith and the rest of this town will think of you being with a younger man. You’re as fucked up as Stark, you know that.”

I closed my eyes, reminding myself that I deserved his anger.

He straightened from his desk.

“Tucker, I’m sorry.”