I did a quick search on t
he odds of someone having marfan without a parent having it too. It was fairly rare. I sat back as I felt the world spin. It couldn’t be possible could it? Could Erica have been telling me the truth all the long?
I called my doctor, barking at the nurse that I didn’t care if he was with a patient. I knew this behavior was what offended people, but at this moment, I didn’t care.
“Mr. Stark. How can I help you,” Dr. Banner asked me.
“How effective are vasectomies?”
“Ah…very. About ninety-nine percent.”
For a moment I felt relief and yet at the same time disappointment. “So, there’s a one percent chance it didn’t take?”
“Most pregnancies after a vasectomy occur within a few months before all the sperm is gone. Usually, after twenty ejaculations or so. Normally after the procedure you have your semen examined to make sure that all the sperm are gone. Is there a problem? I can get your file, but maybe you should call your urologist.”
“No. Thanks.” I hung up the phone. Being a highly organized business man, I was able to pull up the date of my procedure and the date of the fundraising event I’d met Erica at. One month.
My heart picked up speed in my chest. I looked at the birthdate that Joe sent me and counted out from the six weeks she and I had been together.
“Oh Jesus.” I’d known I was a jerk and an asshole, but in that moment, I realized that I was the biggest fucking loser in the world.
I had a son.
I had a son I couldn’t be bothered to look at the picture of this morning.
I abandoned him and his mother. I was worse than my own parents.
FUCK!
My soul cried out at my own monstrous being.
For a moment, I was ready to go to the hospital. He was sick. Sick because of a condition I gave him. I needed to be there. To make sure he got all the medical care he deserved.
And yet…I couldn’t go. I didn’t fucking deserve him.
I grabbed a notepad and began to write.
When I was done, I called my courier and asked him to deliver it to Erica at her home.
Then I went to the airport and flew back to Salvation, calling my lawyer to make arrangements during the flight. While I was at it, I might as well atone for all my assholishness. When we landed, I had Marvin drive me to a quaint neighborhood in the town.
I couldn’t fix all my asshole behaviors. But I could help and then I’d leave.
I knocked on the door of the house.
“Mr. Stark?” Tucker Marshall looked at me with surprise.
“Is Ms. St. James here?”
His eyes narrowed. “We’re planning our wedding.”
“This will just take a minute.”
“Sure. Why not.” He had an amused look like he was wondering what sort of upheaval I’d heap on them, but not being worried about it. I wondered what it was to go through life with such ease. Ryder Jones was the same way. Not much bothered either of them.
“Mr. Stark?” Holly St. James had the same surprised expression that Tucker had.
“Excuse me for just dropping in. I have this for you.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out a paper handing it to her.