“I need to read over all this material the hospital sent home about Marfan and his discharge care,” I said as I took the paperwork and sat at the table.
“An envelope was delivered while you were with Mason,” my mother said, nodding to a manila envelope on the table.
“There’s no stamp.” I studied the plain envelope.
“A courier brought it by.” My mother handed me a coffee mug and then sat with hers across from me.
My heart skipped a beat. The only person I knew that would send by courier was Simon. Had he changed his mind again? Was this some cruel joke?
Tentatively I opened the envelope and pulled out a lined piece of paper with a letter on it.
Dear Erica,
I’m not sure how to start this. As you know, I have difficulty with emotion or admitting wrongdoing. But it’s clear that I owe you an apology and much more than the money and house I’ve already provided you.
I am a father.
My heart thudded hard in my chest as I looked up at my mother.
“What?”
“He says he’s a father.”
My mother’s eyes widened. “It’s about time.”
I looked down at the letter to read more.
I didn’t think it was possible. I knew the odds of my passing along my genetic disorder to a child, and so I took action to prevent my ability to procreate. It is why your announcement five years ago was greeted with such disdain. It’s not easy for me to confess, but it broke my heart when I thought you’d lied to me. Even on our wedding day, when you said you had a son, I believed he’d been conceived before me, and that you’d been working me to get money, or he was conceived after me.
All the heartache I experienced and the hurt I did to you could have been avoided had I taken the time to listen to you and research to know that it was indeed possible to have fathered a child so soon after my procedure.
“What’s he saying now?” my mother asked looking over the rim of her mug.
“He’s explaining why he didn’t believe me when I told him I was pregnant. He’s admitting he should have listened and looked into the possibility.”
“I told you that you should have demanded a paternity test.”
I didn’t tell her he was threatening to sue me if I kept contacting him. I went back to the letter.
I’ll admit, only to you Erica, that I wish I could be a father, but I fear I don’t have it in me. I wouldn’t know how. And, after how I treated you and denied my paternity, I’m not worthy of a chance to find out.
However, I will of course, take care of anything our son needs.
My heart was both full and in anguish for him. He referred to Mason as “our” son, which filled me with happiness, and yet, I could see that he had decided not to be in Mason’s life, which broke my heart for both of them.
His condition will likely require extensive medical involvement. Whatever he needs, I'll cover. Beyond his medical care, anything else he needs…schooling, vacations…whatever you two want, I will provide.
I know you prefer to avoid contact with me, so I’ve provided you with my lawyer’s information. She is setting up a trust for young Mason, and has been instructed to provide you with anything you ask. She’s also preparing an annulment so that you will be free of me.
One last thing. When I said I’d always regretted letting you go, I meant it. I never knew or understood love until you, Erica. I was foolish and stupid to let it get away.
Love Always,
Simon
After that letter, I wanted to run to him. To tell him he was worthy if he could just get out of his own way. But I couldn’t go to him then. I still needed to get Mason settled and recovered, as well as figure out what his condition would mean for us day to day.
As it turned out, I learned that most people with this condition live normal lives, except they had to avoid extreme exertion and contact sports. And Mason would need regular monitoring of his heart.