“At our anniversary dinner.” I said anniversary with a snide tone. “She was biding her time. I guess you were too.”
“I’m not biding my time.” He sighed and moved to me, but I backed away.
“Then why have you been holding on to her card? It’s rumpled enough to suggest it's been there for a while.”
“I keep forgetting to give it to Sinclair.”
I rolled my eyes. “I suppose that could be true. You’re not very organized.”
His eyes flashed with heat, but he turned away. It was then I realized what it was about him that often annoyed me. Yes, he didn’t seem to take life seriously enough. He was too laid back. But he also wasn’t very passionate about anything. I was often a bitch to him, and he just took it instead of getting mad. He smiled and laughed, but I never saw love in him, except toward his parents and Sinclair, but even in that, he seemed to have the same speed. No highs. No lows. I suppose even-keeled could be an asset, but here I was yelling at him for planning to replace me and his voice was calm. Like it didn’t matter if I believed him or not.
He held his hands out to the side. “Guilty as charged. I could have given it to her the other night after I went and told her and Wyatt about Stark’s plan to buy the Salvation Station, but I forgot. You’ll probably read that to mean subconsciously I don’t want to get rid of it.”
What did he say about Salvation Station? I shook my head as that wasn’t what was important. “You still have it.”
He shrugged. “I’d toss it except it wouldn’t matter. You always want to see the worst in people. In me at least. I can’t win.”
“Then it’s time for me to go.” I gave up on the panties. Maybe it would make Erica jealous if she found them when it was her turn in Ryder’s bed. I walked past him and to the guest room. The country kitsch charm had worn off and now I was back to thinking his home represented a lack of attention to detail, maintenance, or personal pride in his home.
“There’s one more day,” he said from the doorway. “We win officially tomorrow.”
“I don’t care about the bet.”
“So, when Sinclair puts you up on the stage in front of all Salvation to make a speech, you won’t wish you’d been able to tolerate me one more day?”
Ugh. He was probably right. On the other hand, life wasn’t fun and games, or bets. Under the circumstances, if Sinclair made me pay off the bet, she wasn’t a friend worth having. I was pregnant, Goddammit, and my baby daddy had a woman in the wings.
“This just shows how unready for real life you are.” I snapped. “We have more important things to consider than a stupid bet.”
He sighed. “So let’s consider them.”
I shook my head. “I’ve got to go home. I can’t do this right now.” I got most of my things shoved into my bag and zipped it up. I’d worry about the other stuff later.
I turned to look at him. What the hell had I let happen? I was goaded into a bet. I let my hormones take over. And now, I was pregnant with a man who didn’t take life seriously. Inwardly I was kicking myself for being so stupid. The worst part of it was that I loved him. God help me, I was in love with a man who slid through life without a care.
I couldn’t afford to be entangled with someone like that before, but now, with a baby on the way, I definitely couldn’t allow myself to be distracted. I had plans to plot. I needed to make a doctor’s appointment and start researching pregnancy and birthing options. I needed to check my will and financial situation. Could I open a college savings account before the baby was born? I needed to clear out a room in my house and get baby gear. No, there was too much to do and think about to let love get in the way. Besides, he already had one foot away from me, towards Erica.
I moved the door and for a minute it looked like he’d block my exit, but then he bowed his head and stepped aside. See, I didn’t mean that much to him. He wasn’t even going to try and stop me.
21
Ryder
Maybe I should have tried harder to make Trina stay, I thought as I sat down to eat leftover lasagna for lunch a few days later. Not that it would have mattered. I could see in her eyes that she’d made her decision. In her opinion, I was a horndog ready to move on from her. I laughed derisively. If she knew the truth, that I loved her and had been thinking about a life with her, she’d have probably still left. It would have been too much change for her to manage.
Why did cupid have to be so mean to make me want a woman that wouldn’t love me back no matter what I did? Maybe Trina was right and there was something wrong with me. I mean, a regular person wouldn’t put up with the shit she delved out, right? So why did I?
Probably because I knew for all her thorns and bluster, she was a woman who wanted to love and be loved. When her claws were down, she was smart and funny. Many times, over the course of the last month, I felt like I’d finally reached the real her. Not that I’d told her that, because I knew it would make her guard go up. But that was the problem, wasn’t it? After a month of loving her, she still didn’t trust me enough to let her wall down.
I looked at the business card that had gotten me into this fix. I’d tossed it on the table when Trina left and there it had stayed, taunting me for the last couple of days. Maybe it was time to bring it to Sinclair. Of course, I couldn’t take it to her at work because Trina was there. I wanted desperately to see her, but she’d see my showing up at the mayor’s office as some sort of nefarious plan. So instead I drove out to Sinclair’s home to see Wyatt. I could leave the card with him.
When I got to the farm, his mother let me in telling me Wyatt was eating lunch. “Can I get you something too, Ryder?” she asked me.
“No thank you, Mrs. Jones,” I said as I followed her to the kitchen.
“Hey, Ry,” Wyatt said as he stood, wiping his face and tossing his napkin on his plate.
“Let me get that.” His mother reached for his empty plate.