Accidental Baby (Fake Marriage Romance 2)

“There are women all over Salvation that will be sorry to hear that.”

I arched a brow. “Does that mean you think I’m a horndog too?”

“No. It means you do like what all young single men do, sow your oats.”

“I’m done farming.”

She snorted. “No more tilling, eh?”

I stood and pulled her to me for a hug. “You’re the best sister, you know that?”

“I’m your only sister.”

“You’re the best anywhere.”

I wished I could say that Sinclair lifted me out of my funk, but I was still pissed at Trina. Even so, I was glad to have Sinclair’s support. It was another difference between me and Trina; I could accept the love and support from others. If Trina could have gotten out of her own way, she’d have all the love and support she’d not had growing up. Instead, she chose to push people away. Not just push them away, but treat them so poorly that they wouldn’t even try to get close to her. For that, I felt sorry for her. But I couldn’t linger on it. I’d tried to show her what life could be like being loved, and she chose to reject it. It took me a while, but now I got the message. She didn’t want anything from me. Fine. I was done with Trina.

28

Trina

One thing I excelled at was pushing aside hard feelings and replacing them with numbness. It allowed me to focus on things I could do to control the chaos that was around me. But at night, when I was sleeping, my dreams were no match for the emotions. All night I tossed and turned with grief and guilt and a feeling that I’d ruined the one chance I had at happiness.

It wasn’t so much the anger in Ryder that haunted me, although that had been a revelation. I’d never seen him so angry. No, what tormented me in my sleep was the pain in his eyes. I’d hurt him. Deeply. It burned in my gut until it woke me with a cry.

When morning came, I’d push that aside, and with my head down and eyes forward, I went through the motions of life. I got up, showered, had my coffee, went to work, came home, had dinner, went to bed, and then did it all again the next day.

Thinking maybe Sinclair was right and I could benefit from counseling, but not able to bring myself to visit anyone in town for fear of people finding out and judging me, I accessed an app that offered licensed help professionals. The woman I got was nice and had a gentle yet direct manner when it came to challenging my thoughts. Still, I didn’t feel like it changed much. My life was still a mess.

Two days later, the mayor called me into his office. I was sure I was going to be fired, even though I’d been better behaved than I’d ever been before. I had to shut down so much that I couldn’t even muster irritation or anger when Brooke asked me for feedback on another task of mine the mayor had given her.

I stepped into his office, and simply stood like a zombie. That’s how I felt. The living dead.

His gaze scrutinized me. “I’m concerned about you.”

“I’m fine.”

He leaned back in his chair. “You’re not your usual self.”

“I’d think that was a good thing, sir.”

His lips twitched upwards. “Normally, yes, but you don’t look well either. Is everything okay with the baby?”

“Yes, sir. I’m just…trying to adjust to everything.”

“I know you like order.”

It was more than that. I needed order like I needed air. I didn’t feel I could survive without it.

“I want you to know that your job is secure here, at least while I’m mayor. If Sinclair wins the next election, I’m sure she’ll keep you here too, so despite what I said, your job is safe.”

“Thank you.” That was a relief, although I still felt like crap.

“And I’m sorry I haven’t been more transparent with you on the things I’m assigning to Miss Campbell. I value your work and I’m sorry if I seemed to have disrespected that.”

“I appreciate that, sir.”

He cocked his head giving an air of authority. “Of course, that doesn’t give you permission to be hostile.”