She stepped to the fireplace mantel to look at pictures. “Goodness, this is you and me and Alyssa when she was a baby.”
I stood, watching her take it all in, hoping she’d feel at home here. “Sinclair put those there. She and Wyatt helped me.”
“It’s lovely, Ryder.” She turned to me, her expression a bit chagrined.
“There’s more,” I said holding out my hand. She took it and I led her to the kitchen. “This didn’t need much work, but I did get a new coffee maker.”
“Is the coffee good?”
“You’ll have to tell me,” I said hoping I could convince her to stay the night. All the nights. “And look at
this.” I opened a cabinet and took down a couple of plates.
“They match,” she said looking down. “God, I really am a bitch, aren’t I?”
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting matching plates.” I gave her a quick kiss and then led her back up the hall. “I hope you like this.” I pushed open the door to the room that had been hers during the fake marriage but was now set up as a nursery.
She gasped as the pretty yellow room came into view. She walked in. “It’s for the baby.” Her hand ran along the crib rail.
“That was Alyssa’s crib. I’ve checked and there’s been no recall. All the parts are safe.”
She turned to me. Tears fell on her cheeks.
“Oh, baby. You okay?” I asked going to her and wiping her tears with my thumbs.
“Yes. No…I don’t know.”
I wasn’t sure what to make of that. I pulled her to me. “What’s going on?”
“I’m so happy.” She wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head on my chest. “But I don’t deserve this.”
“Yes, you do, and even if you didn’t, I want to give it to you.”
She tilted her head back. “I’m scared, Ryder.”
I studied her, not sure what she was saying. “Of me?”
“Of love. Of messing this up. Of you leaving.”
“I’m not leaving.”
She didn’t say it, but I could see in her eyes that she was saying, “You did before.”
I dropped my head to her forehead. “I love you, Trina. This is what I wanted from the moment I volunteered to be your fake husband. Before even. The other night at your place…I was hurt and angry—”
“For good reason. I don’t want to mess this up and, well, you know me. Chances are high that I’ll screw up.”
I smiled. “I do know you. And you know I can put up with a lot. I won’t be a doormat, but I understand you. And I hope that if you let me love you, you’ll learn to believe in it. I’m not your parents. You can trust me, Trina.”
She sniffed. “Sometimes you look like you’re weighing what to say to me in case I might go off. Don’t do that anymore. I need to learn to take it. I’ve been talking to a counselor.”
“Really?” That surprised me. Trina wasn’t one to show her innermost feeling. “And what have you gleaned?”
“She hasn’t really revealed anything new. I knew my parents fucked up giving me trust issues, but she has given me some tools to help me cope. I may need help with it though.”
“I’ll help you. Whatever you want or need, I want to give to you.” I kissed her forehead. “I’m glad to hear about the counseling. I want you to be happy.”
“I am.”