Her scrutiny had me turning away.
“Oh my God. You did. You slept with your boss.”
I was emotionally spent and physically exhausted. It made it too difficult to deny the truth.
>
I tossed my suitcase into the corner and sank down on the bed. “It was just a short-term fling. Friends with benefits while in Europe. You can’t tell anyone.”
She gaped and I wondered if she had just been teasing me and not really thinking I’d slept with him.
Her jaw snapped shut. Then she said. “How are you feeling about it?”
“Right now, I’m exhausted and want to rest.”
“Okay, okay, I can take a hint. But I want to know the details. You always said he was so straight-laced. I’m surprised he broke the rules.”
I started to shrug.
“Actually, I’m not. Even a bore like your boss can’t help himself around my beautiful sister. But he didn’t hurt you, did he?”
“No.” It wasn’t a lie. Sure, I felt pain, but he didn’t hurt me. It was the situation that hurt.
She put her arm around me. “There’s more to this, I can tell. But I’ll let you get some rest. I’ll order pizza…oh wait, you were just in Italy. I’ll order Chinese for dinner. You don’t want to sleep too long or you won’t get back in sync here.”
I rested my head on her shoulder. “Thanks. Just a few hours and I’ll be able to show you all my souvenirs and pictures.”
“It’s a date.” She stood and left my room.
I sat for a moment acclimating back to my life. The one good thing was that I was in a better financial situation now that Ryan had paid my debts. But the rest of my life was back to how it had been. I couldn’t regret the trip or the time with him, but it sure was hard being back on the other side.
I took a shower, remembering the one-time Ryan had joined me. His soapy hands caressing my body. Annoyed and sad, I rinsed quickly and put on cotton shorts and t-shirt, then climbed into bed. I pulled the blankets up over me wanting to escape the world. Escape from my feelings. It had only been a few hours since I’d last seen him, and I missed him terribly. I wished he’d barge in and tell me that he changed his mind. He didn’t want friends with benefits.
What do you want, Ryan? I remembered asking him in Interlaken.
You.
Our relationship was solely a physical one, so his saying he wanted me wasn’t a confession of love. That didn’t mean he didn’t care for me or like me as a friend, but to his mind, this was all just a vacation. In fact, I was the one who encouraged him to live a little and indulge in this friend with benefits situation. So, my pain was of my own making. I’m sure he enjoyed himself, but I doubted he was feeling the way I did now.
I scoffed at myself. No now that he was back home, I was sure he was knee deep in spreadsheets and distribution reports. His true love was the family business. He stopped thinking about me and our trip the moment he got home; I had no doubt about that.
I turned over on my side, closing my eyes and willed sleep to take me away from my heartbreak.
“Kel?”
Slowly I drifted awake. “What?”
My sister was sitting on the edge of my bed.
“You need to get up.”
Ryan was here. He changed his mind. I bolted up to sit.
“Whoa.” Natalie jerked back. “Dinner is here. You should get up and eat and then stay up until bedtime.”
I rubbed my eyes, hiding the disappointment. Ryan wasn’t here. He wasn’t ever going to be here. “What time is it?”
“Six. You’ve been asleep for a couple of hours. You should get up though or you’ll mess up your inner clock.”